sandy hook

I had a really good weekend. I was upset at first because I was bored and I didn't think I was going to do anything fun, then Jared asked me to go to a show at the legion, then I slept at his house and we hung out and went to a show the next day at the legion, too. I got Jackie and Kevin to go, and idk, it was a good time I guess. This weekend was OK. I'm looking forward to new years, even though I have no idea what I'll be doing. I know I'll be with Jared. Why: do people have to talk shit about other people just to fit in? Why do people have to wear things because its trendy and cool and not because they actually like it? I saw my grandma today. She had no idea who I was, but she was in a good mood. I went to the mall and got liprings. I have no idea.

killa

this weekend was fun. Friday, I don't remember what I did. I think I hung out with Tara. Saturday, Jared came to my house early so I could spend the rest of the weekend with him. I woke up at like 7 haha. He got to my house at 9. We hung out here for a little bit then we went back to his house because the snow was getting really bad. The roads were already awful. I had fun. Today school sucked today all we did was arts and crafts, nothing was organized it was lame. We only had one break too, lame. The 90 minute delay helped a lot though. Tomorrow is going to be just as stupid. Why should we even have to go in the first place, go to school at 8, leave at 10. There is no point to even go out of your way. We're not even going to be making anything tomorrow so it will just be pointless the entire time. I mean, it will be easy, but I already missed my two absent days, if I missed tomorrow, I would lose credit for the semester, even it being the last day. Of doing nothing. Today sucked. I slept most of the day, tomorrow will suck because I have no plans and no idea what I'm going to do. I need a friend. Not someone that will just listen to me talk. Someone that I want to talk to. That's all I really want.


so adorable

too sick

There's supposed to be a lot of snow tomorrow, and I can't even get my thoughts straight enough to be able to tell weather this makes me happy or mad. I don't care if we get a snow day tomorrow. School went by fast all week, it does every week though. I'm not even looking forward to Christmas break anymore. I just want to sleep forever. I get no attention. I have no best friend. I don't know what I have to do to get someone to notice me. I'm still here.

and yes

As the ending of my last entry ended, it ended up being fact. I went to Bries house and hung out for a little bit, and got drunk at Lenny's. I don't really remember what happened from that night until now, I haven't really posted that much. I don't really care either. Maybe this is just getting too old for me and I'm just growing out of it. I talk enough to people as it is, why bother writing about my day's in this blog. It's just going to get annoying, me repeating myself how happy I am. I get to see Jared tomorrow, I'm reallyy excited, I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, hes sleeping over. Who know's when I'll post again. Probably when I'm in a bad mood.

anndddd

I just watched the season 2 finale of Dexter. So good. I've never seen a better show before. I can't wait to see season 3. I'm hangin out with Jackie and Kevin around 10. Tomorrow I'm going to Brie's house for her birthday and hangin out with Jackie and maybe Jaime, and we're going to get drunk.

better than ever

I think I feel complete.

doritos

I had the past few days off from school because of Thanks giving. I got a half day on Wednesday and I've been having fun every day since then. I don't think I spent an entire day at home once. Even if I thought I wasn't going to go out, I did. I mostly hung out with Jackie and Kevin. Wednesday night is exactly what I wanted it to be, read my last post and it will make sense. I got so trashed. Me and Jackie schooled everyone in beer pong, and we had a good time. I puked in his trash can for a good minute, but hey, it was a fun night. Thursday, I went to my sisters house for thanks giving and it was nice. All my family was there and it was a good time. Then later on, Tara came over and slept over and it was cool. Jocelyn was home too, so we hung out with her as well. Friday Tara left and a bunch of my friends from middle school came over. Jaime, Raizine, Lynelle, Hayleigh (who I still usually hang out with). It was fun. We went on an adventure to smoke a couple blunts, everyone stayed at my house, and me and Jaime took 2 of my bikes to the corner stop to get duchies and cigarettes. Then we went to stop & shop to get bud. I got hooked up by my friend pretty good, and the tire on my bike was completely out, but I made it all the way home. We went back to my house and I rolled both of them and they didn't come out that good but oh well, at least I can do it... We went to the empty parking lot by the airport right next to the runway and sat in a circle and smoked old school style. Hayleigh didn't smoke. We all got decently ripped and it was a good time. It's so crazy doing that because I've known them all for so long. I knew Jaime and Lynelle since kinder garden, and they were basically one of my first friends, besides Karli and Monica. I met Raizine in first grade. Oh how we've changed. We actually talked about it, everyone did change a lot. But all the good qualities about everyone still stayed the same. I wish I spent more time with them. Anyway. They hung out at my house til around 9 then everyone left. I was so tired but really bored, I was about to go to bed when John called me and told me to go there because he was having a good time at his house, so I go there at like 1am and drink a few beers and hang out, this girl I know was there that used to baby sit me. Saturday, I didn't do much the first half of the day. Me and Jared decided to hang out before the show for a little bit, so he picked me up around 5 and we smoked and went to the show and hung out for a little bit after :] It was nice. I love his company. I love him. Today, I woke up and my mom told me Dexter came in the mail. YESSSS. I was so stoked, Ive been waiting so long for season 2 to come, the mail order for netflix got all messed up because my mom starting ordering the wire too. And I barely like that show. So I watched one episode this morning. My sister dropped the kids off and everyone had pasta, not that much family came over. Charles came to my house around 3 and I got ready for the show. We picked up Cathy and went to eat at some place in North Haven, Panera's? I don't know. We hung out at Charles house for a little bit after to kill time before the show. The show was pretty fun, a lot of my friends were there and it was a good time. Crowns of Kings played, and no one got hurt surprisingly. Product of waste played, and they were good as usual. I smoked a little bit with Terry after, it was pretty good. Charles gave me a ride home from the show and when I got home my parents watched the 2nd episode for Dexter on our season 2 disc without me. What the fuck, haha. I wasn't really pissed, its just supposed to be a family thing. I need to take a shower before I go to bed. It's already almost 12, which is lame because this long break is finally over. I am going to get such a rude awakening when I wake up tomorrow for school. But I still have stuff to do before bed. I need to watch the second episode. I'll do that now I guess. I mad I just finished these doritos, it's wack.

not so nice

Cold and bored. I'm supposed to hang out with Jackie later, probably. I don't know what we would do. Tomorrow is thanks giving. I want to drink beer tonight. That's all I really want right now, I have a plan that this will happen. Jocelyn is supposed to be coming home tonight too around 5 probably. Jackie just texted me asking if I wanted to go to a bigger party in Milford. Yes I would like that. I feel really stressed out right now for no reason. I need to clear my head. I neeeed to break something. I'm not even in a bad mood I just know I would feel so much better. I just received news that Rob wrote me a letter from juvi, I have no idea what it could possibly say. Damn.

damnnn

I really don't feel like posting that much right now. I was in a really good mood when I got home for some reason, and now I'm just cold. This weekend was really fun. I got to hang out with Jared allll weekend, he came to pick me up Friday night and I stayed at his house until Sunday and Sunday we went to the show in Wallingford to see The Kill Boys and Long Drop and some other out of state bands. I had fun this weekend though. I'm so cold right now. Today in class everyone was talking about a gas leak smell or something and a lot of kids were complaining about it and some of them felt sick and stuff so I got to miss most of 2ND period. It was funny. My teacher gets on the speaker and says, "at this time, I am going to ask all the students in the building, to leave" There was no fire drill alarm or anything. I stayed in this girls car with Diana and Melissa. The fire trucks and ambulance came and said everything was okay, and had to talk to the kids with headaches and stuff of course. One girl actually went to the hospital. Okay. And that was that I guess. I'm kinda spooked out right now. I was talking to Chris about haunted places in CT and I was looking at a website that had all these crazy haunted places on it. There's this one called undercliff in Meriden. It was an old insane asylum up until the mid 1960's and its abandoned and it looks fucking crazy, I want to go. I wonder if I know anyone that has been there. I WONDER. Anyway, I got to meet Jared's mom this weekend for the first time, she was really nice. Me and Jared smoked so much. Too much maybe. hahaha. I'm supposed to hang out with Jackie in a little bit, Kevin too probably when he gets out of work. I'm waiting for Kyle and Jackie right now though. I'M OUT. ta ta

http://www.webspawner.com/users/connecticutshauntedp/

fuck this week

I'm getting so impatient. Everything has been going fine, I just feel so short fused right now. School went fine today. It's not as exciting as it was in the beginning of the semester, it's just boring I guess. I like going because it takes up a lot in my week and I only really enjoy my weekends. I got a 90 on my math quiz today. Victoria helped me with it, but I knew some of it and I did what I could. I'm happy I got a 90, but I got ten points off for not putting one K at the end of ONE number. Just one. So dumb. And everyone in the class tried really hard to get the quiz done and he penalized everyone who didn't do that. Whatever. I had a English quiz today and I'm positive I did good in it. Kyle is coming over in a little bit, I feel like I haven't hung out with him in so long. This week hasn't been going bad at all actually. I seem to find something to do every day, even if I do take a lot of naps, I'm spending so much more time with my mom. Not so much my dad, but at least we get along. The only time we're all together is when we watch Dexter. I'm okay with this. I really love this show. Whenever I get home its the first thing I wanna do. I'll watch re runs, I don't care. I just want this weekend to come so I can see Jared. Today is our 3 months. I really don't like 3 week gaps of seeing him. It's not nice.

been a minute

I can't even begin to recap on what's been going on lately. Nothing too out of the ordinary I guess. Boston was cool, I left Thursday and missed school Friday and came back Sunday morning. I went to a show in Boston to see Blacklisted, Have heart, New Lows and Ceremony. I missed new lows and have heart. I had fun. The scene in Massachusetts was crazy, so many people went to that show. Like 8 people were taking pictures too, it looked like a photo shoot. Kind of unnecessary I guess. I almost got lost on the way to the show, I went alone, it was raining too. I took a subway there from my sister dorm, I ended up finding my way though. There was a decent amount of people I knew there, which felt weird, because I was in a different state. I normally never have a good time when I'm that far away from home. I'm not sure why, but that's what usually ends up happening. After the show me and some people went to Sean and Rich's house down the street and drank and hung out, it was fun. We went to get some food later on that night at some fast food place, and everyone in ceremony was inside eating, haha, it was funny/random, they're all really nice dudes. This weekend was fun though, grade A. I had a good time. Hung out with Jackie and Kevin last night. Went to school today. Watched 2 new episodes of Dexter with my parents. Nothing has changed, and everything is going fine. I miss Jared. It's been over 2 weeks, and I have to wait 3 more days. I took a nap before, and now I'm not even tired. Whatevverr. I'm not tired, I don't wanna go to bed.

all for almost nothing

My mom gave me an at home drug test so we could see if it would even be worth going to quest diagnostics in Branford for Kohls. It's too late now anyway. I did pass the drug test, all the water I drank actually worked. My dad took the day off, on friday, to take me to the DMV to get my permit, so I could have a state ID when I got take the drug test, because its required. I failed my permit test, whatever. I didn't know half the questions on that, and there was 25. Not to mention I waited with my dad at the DMV for almost 3 hours, while other people were going in to take the test within 5 minutes of arriving. I was there longer than anyone. It was frustrating. My dad took work off because the DMV closes at 4:30, but I can only go to take that drug test before 3. I had to go all the way to Hamden and 2:oo comes around and I still didn't get called for the test, by the time I failed my permit, we wouldn't have enough time for the drug test anyway. That day was such a fail. I made my dad spend almost $60 just so I could fail that dumb thing. Fuck that. Later on Jackie came over and we hung out with people all night and I smoked blunts.

so much water

I guess I haven't posted in a while. Well. The night of Halloween. I guess that's not that long ago. This weekend was fun. I wish I could go back in time and replay it again. Everything was so great and I got to see a lot of my friends. It just made me thought of what pure happiness really means. First Jackie came over and we put our costumes on and chilled in my room, then Jared came over shortly after. We went to stop and shop and chilled for a little then found some stuff to do. We ended up not going to any Halloween parties so we took our costumes off because there was no reason for it. We went to Dan's house and Kyle and Bruder and Karli and some other people were there. Then we went to hang out with Kevin. I don't know. I don't really remember every single detail of what happened that night. I know when we were downtown, 2 people got shot on crown street. I can't even explain what was going on. It was kind of scary. It looked like a riot was about to get started, and Jared kept telling me it was the revolution starting, haha. Later that night we went to Pat's house and watched the Devil's Rejects and then Jared slept at my house and got a ride back to school with Pat the next day. I don't really feel like writing every single detail. I just had a good weekend. Then on Sunday, I got a call back from Kohl's, I was so excited, they told me to come in for an interview yesterday, Monday. Later on Sunday, my dad took me driving, finally. I need a lot of practice. I did fine though, he let me drive on the roads everywhere then we let me go to TJ max and I got pants for my interview yesterday. It went so well. I looked so important yesterday, like a business lady. Julie picked me up from school and brought me to the interview, which was very nice of her. The lady that was interviewing me was really nice. I feel like I answered all of the questions fine, and I basically got the job if I pass the drug test. Not cool. I smoked Saturday night, I didn't know I was getting the interview until the next day. If I knew that I was going to get a call from Kohl's, I would have never smoked for weeks. This is so lame. My drug test will be either Thursday or Friday. I think I'm going to try and push it to Friday. I have been drinking so much water, its not nice at all. I don't know what I'm going to do. I need this job so badly. It would fix all of my problems, it really would. Everything is so good right now, even if this stuff doesn't work out. My driving school teacher is a midget.

your mind is an instrument

Tonight is going to be awesome. You know when you get that feeling that your going to have a good weekend? I know I'm going to have fun no matter what happens tonight. It's fucking halloween. I'm waiting for Jared to come over right now. I'll post again on Sunday or something and tell you what happened..

raison bagels

Are pretty good. Today I had school, and there was a lot of new faces. It was kind of cool starting new classes with new kids. I like my new teacher Jean, a lot. She's so nice. I know if I stay on her good side I'll enjoy that class. And all of my other classes are fine too. After school, I stayed after with Diana and Melissa for a 1/2 course where we watch a movie clip and write a paragraph, it doesn't take long, less than a half hour after school gets out. But it's with Laura, so I doubt I'm going to stick with that. After school, me and Diana went to Branford to try and get a job. We applied at almost every store on Branford Hill, and the Kohl's Plaza. Really, we applied everywhere, we were out for over 3 hours. I'm going to driving school tonight, finally. I think it's from 6-8 but I have to find out. I woke up so late this morning, fuck my cell phone alarm. It hasn't been reliable at all lately. My mom woke me up at 7:10 and I was really mad because I thought I had more time to sleep. But in reality, I only had 20 minutes to get ready. It was not nice. I still made it and walked to school on time. Yesterday, I hung around with my family which was nice. We had 3 birthdays for family day yesterday because Teresa's, Vinny's and Jon Michael's birthday are all really close together. I love watching them open presents, they get so excited. Later on, Jackie came to pick me up and we went to pick up Kevin, then went to Lenny's house and hung out there for a little bit. We ended up goin for a burn cruise then we had an idea to go downtown to the shubert theater stairs, like I would normally do. I don't know. I like going there, but its not exciting to me anymore, plus it's really sketchy. Anyway, we got there, and there was a door for the theater open right next to the stairs, and it looked like they were doing construction on it. It was definitely not a good idea, but they were all for sneaking around it and going up anyway. So we sneak by and quietly go up the stairs all the way to the top. Once we got to the top, I wasn't really worried after a few minutes. After we smoked, we hung out and talked for a bit. And started to get kind of loud. We were sitting there smoking cigarettes, and all the sudden a cop comes out of no where. Seriously, I did not hear him coming at all. He asked us what we were doing up there, and Jackie told him we were talking about time travel, and she wasn't lying. We were talking about time travel. I won't get into that though. The cop sounded really irritated, but we were too friendly for him to actually arrest us. By the way, your not suppose to hang out on the fire escape stairs behind the Shubert Theater. He let us go, just like that. After that, we went to Mike's house, even though no one really wanted too. And when we got there, it was a disaster. Just pointless drama that someone had to start, not naming anyone. We ended up leaving and going back to Lenny's. Then Jackie took me home. Things seem to be going fine with my life. I recently made a flickr account.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/covegirl321/

who are we

Am I getting paid back, for something I did wrong?

confused

I'm so confused. I'm not even going to talk about it. Yesterday, I didn't do anything in school because it was the last day of the marking period. I got home and took a nap. Later on, Jackie and Brie came over. We went to meet up with Steve and Lance. We hung out and tried to make plans for the night and eventually figured something out. It involved drinking beer, so I was happy, because I had wanted to for a while. A few people I knew all hung out there, Brie left. Then we all went to some concert at Toads. It was really lame. I really wish I didn't pay $10 for it. So stupid. Some hippie bandsss. I guess it wasn't that bad, just not my thing. We ended up going back to Lance's house and chilled for a little bit longer. I tried to sleep the second I got home and showered and stuff. I was going to do community service this morning for my school, but I decided not to. I could do it at the end of the year, or next year or something. I was not trying to wake up at 6:30 on a Saturday, especially after last night. So this morning, I woke up, didn't do much, then went to walmart with my parents. I got 2 pairs of shoes and a purse. Then we went to TJ max and I got 3 pairs of jeans and a shirt, I'm so happy. I got earrings too, which are nice. I'm so happy. It's only 7, it feels a lot later though.. And it's raining now.. I probably wont do anything tonight

i guess im beat

I don't know. I did my English test that we had to bring home to do, it wasn't that hard. I did it in 30 minutes maybe. I still feel like shit. I want this cold to go away. I don't have any energy. I can't even think about working out right now. I'll probably take a hot shower and go to sleep. It's 10:44 anyway. I just watched another Dexter with my mom. This was the 5th episode, and I'm pretty sure it's the last one that I saw, because I saw most of the first season. Hopefully when we watch one tomorrow it will be one I haven't seen yet. My dad is coming home tonight, at like 1. I need a break..

its true, i do have feelings

Why can't people just leave me alone. Why do people always feel the need to start shit, when I'm trying to be a better person. I don't fucking get it. Most of you girls, I've never talked to in my whole life. Grow the fuck up, and leave me alone. Get some logic in your dumb head and try and understand how immature your actions make you look. I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've dealt with this for as long as I could. I hope when I'm in my 20's I don't pick on younger girls, that may have made mistakes, that have nothing to do with me at all. It's almost comical for me to try and understand why anyone would do this. Who can I even talk to about this? Fuck this blog. I'll probably read this again and delete it later.

watch dexter

It really is a good show. I'm so happy I can watch it free online. I've been watching it with my mom. We watched the first 4 episodes of season one, I can't wait to watch more tomorrow. Because I already saw the first few so I knew everything that was going to happen. I'm sick right now, I have a nasty cold. School was very tiring today. I took a 5 hour nap. It's 12 now, and I'm probably going to take a bath or something. I know I'm going to have trouble with waking up tomorrow. Fuck. I'm still happy to say that I am still happy. Even if my life were to completely change by tomorrow, I think I'd still be happy. I think I'm going to take a bath or something, I have no idea what to tell you.

goodnight

its cold outside now

This week was good. Everything is fine. School is fun. Friday I went to school, went home and took a nap, then I started to get ready because Jared was coming down! He was getting a ride from Pat. He ended up getting here at 8, I think. Me and Julie were hangin out beforehand, too. We were waiting for Jared so we could go to the show in Meriden that Devin booked. It ended up having a good turn out. I had fun. I can't really go into detail about the show, nothing really happened. It was a good time. After the show, we cleaned a little. Then went to sleep at Julie's dads house in Wallingford. It was so cold outside at that point. I woke up so many times during the night because of how cold it was, and I had a headache the next morning. I love waking up next to Jared. Saturday morning and afternoon was probably my favorite part. Julie dropped me and Jared off at my house, and we hung out there and I cut Jared's hair and it looks so gooddd, then Tara came over and we took showers. We all talked and stuff then we went to get bud so we could smoke a blunt. I had fun. I hadn't seen her in so long. All summer basically. Tara left after a little bit, and we hung out at my house for a while. Later on, Julie and Devin picked us up and we went back to my house and chilllledd then Charles and his girl Cathy came overr, it was a totally sweet triple date party at my house, hahah. Just kidding. We hung out and talked, that's about it. Then it started getting late, Charles and Cathy left, and everyone started going to sleep. I went to sleep around 1:30 maybe. Me and Jared woke up at 8, got ready and walked to the bus stop. The bus came only a few minutes later, exactly when it was supposed too. It was really cold. We walked to the train station and the second we got there his bus was there, it came early. So we said our goodbyes, and I walked to the bus stop, waited mad long, got on a bus, and came home. I can't tell you how cold I was, lol. I came home and went to sleep basically. It was around 11 I think. Julie and Devin were still sleeping when I got back. I ended up sleeping close to 4pm. Its almost 6 now. I'm not tired anymore, just bored. I'm supposed to hang out with Kyle tomorrow. I hope I do and we actually find something to do. I'm going to watch a movie with my mom soon. My dads in California right now so its just me and my mammaaa. Shes the best. I had a good weekend..
ta ta

c0lddd

Today, I went to school. Really tired from last night, then I came home. Took a nap. Hung out and did nothing. Julie and Devin came over for a little bit. That's about it. I'm a little tired, I don't understand how, but I am. I really hope this weekend has a good turnout.


kyleboykid: well well
kyleboykid: look who's all clean
Put it onnn: actually...
Put it onnn: i didnt shwoer
Put it onnn: i changed my mind
kyleboykid: then shut the fuck up

since

I have been so nice lately, and happy. I figured I would make this entry to show to everyone that not everything about me has changed. Even though no one is reading this. I think I'm just going to make a list of all the things that have been pissing me off.

• when people act like they are better than you. That one was obvious, who doesn't. But forreal. I hate that.
• when people wear leggings as pants. They're not pants. Your suppose to wear a dress or a skirt. That doesn't mean a long shirt that barely covers your ass. They're not pants.
  
• the majority of people at my school. I hate east haven.
• taking naps and sleeping really late and waking up at 1:30AM.
  
• People that try and walk all over me.
• when people change, for the worse.
• losing contact with friends/family/the amount of family that actually showed on my birthday.
  
• anyone that's never given me a chance.
  
• Laura, my history teacher.
• Mark, my math teacher, for always being in such a bad mood and taking it out on everyone else.
• Sarah Palin
• "the grease pit"
• not knowing what I want to know and dealing with it.
• People that talk shit about their friends.
• people that take my off their friends list, wow. That's not going to make me feel bad.
• When someone is always sarcastic. It's annoying. I can't tell when people are serious or not.
  

whatever. I'll probably think of 100 other things and update this, but for now. That's it. I feel better just getting this out of my head. I'm actually not even in a bad mood right now. I've been awake since 1 and I have to start getting ready for school. I'm hungry. This weekend is going to be sweeeeet

super trooper

Laura, you are one of the most horrible people I know. I dislike everything that you do. You should not have the right to call yourself a teacher. I know that karma will get back at you.. when you retire, and have no friends, it will get really lonely and you'll wish you weren't such a horrible person. School has been really good the past week actually. Maybe because I knew I was going to hang out with Jared on Friday, but I still had some really good days, besides Laura ruining everything of course. I made my schedule for next semester, and later on, I talked to Joe, my English teacher, about Laura. All of the other teachers know and understand exactly how she is, and can't do anything about it. They can't really replace her, no one wants to teach at adult ed. The school probably gets like, no funding either, whatever is left from east haven high. Anyway, Joe worked with me around Laura and I will have Jean, Joe, Mark, and Jean again, next semester. I'm really happy about that. I just need a break from Laura. I know I'll have to take her again eventually, a lot too. I have like no credits. Things will get easier. Anyway. My sister Vicki came to pick me up to take me to Uconn to see Jared yesterday, Friday. I was so happy and grateful, she offered to do this for no reason. And Uconn is pretty far. I was really happy. We never really talk at all. Were not that close. But the ride up we had time to talk about a few subjects. It was nice though, I guess. Because shes so much older, its hard to think of her as my sister. Even though she is. Half at least. I told her how I stay up there every 2 weeks for the weekend, and my mom knows but our dad doesn't, and she asked me if I wanted to sleep over. She said she would pick me up today. Isn't that sweet? Of course I accepted that offer. I had fun last night. Me and Jared hung out for a bit in his room then we went to Pat's room with Ed and some of their friends that I don't know and got shitfaced. I haven't felt that way, in a very long time. Last night is such a blurr in my head right now. I had tons of fun though. Totally worth 10 trips to the bathroom gettin real friendly with a bathroom stall. Everyone was so violent last night. I had fun though. This morning we woke up around 11 maybe. But I had almost no sleep that night. We went to get breakfast with pat and ed and some others. Then layed in the sun. Then me and Jared hung out, ate again, and I got picked up. I did have a good weekend though. It's only Saturday night. I had some plans tonight, but everything fell through. Not a big deal though. My sister took the train home from college, so shes here. That's nice I guess. We just watched 2 new degrassi episodes and one new south of nowhere. It was alright. Then we watched stupid stuff on the Internet. Now I'm here. Kind of tired. I'm debating on weather I should take a shower now or in the morning. I already took one this morning. My sister Stephanie is getting married tomorrow............................................ no comment

kandy korn

Complete different outlook on life. Things are starting to change for myself. I'm finally starting to realize that I am the only kid left in this house. And that none of my siblings are around. It's way too quiet, and I'm definitely going to need to get used to this. I'm beginning to get more and more used to my teachers. I like Joe a lot, I like talking to him. He's the only person in that school that does actually care about every individual student, equally. He will take the time to explain things, and he never gets frustrated. The amount of respect he gets without ever yelling or getting mad is so insightful. I like having conversations about the government with him, before he makes a point on something, he makes sure he understands both points of view and both qualms for any idea. Joe is also an anarchist. Yesterday I hung out with Jackie after I took a nap when I got home from school. We drove around for a bit, went to North Branford, Lenny's house, Mikes house, Kyle's house, then back to Mikes. We watched most of the Shawshank Redemption, we left towards the end because it was late and everyone was talking so I couldn't even hear it. I thought it was really good for the majority that I watched. Being locked up would make me go insane, definitely. I'm going to make sure I never put myself in a position that would lead me there. The day before that, I hung out with Kyle and Brandon downtown. It was Sunday. I waited downtown for a few hours because Kyle didn't get out of work til' 5. I got there around 3, knowing I had to wait, and just sat around and waited by myself. I like being downtown though. I get to relax and think about a lot of things. I guess I can think whenever I want to, and I do. It's just nice. We didn't do anything when we all met up. We went to Moe's and then Gordon gave us a ride back to Kyle's house. My dad picked me up later on. Earlier that day, my family was suppose to come over for family day, and celebrate my birthday. It doesn't even feel like anything anymore. This Italian tradition from a loving family is now almost completely dead. My sister came, and my uncle came. Yeah I'm upset about this. Not because it was my birthday, but because no one ever comes anymore. Everyone is busy now, with better things to do. I'm still there.

sony erection

oh brother

what a night

im old

Not really. I am 17 now, though. Today I did something I've never done before. I slept through my alarm. That's not good. My mom never wakes me up for school, because I always do it on my own. But today for some reason, she came in my room to wake me up around 6:40. I set my alarm for 5:30 this time, just so I can set it over and over until I finally wake up at 6:30. I was tired out of my mind. I got home around 11, my dad picked me up at Dan's house. I got out of school at 10:45 yesterday, because we had a half day. I'm still so tired right now. Anyway, after school yesterday, I got home and started talking to people and trying to make some plans. Stefan and I ended up going to run errands and then pick up Ryan and then we went to the show. I met up with Kyle and Brandon when I got there, and was with them mostly after that. I didn't really know any of the bands that were there, I just went because I had no clue what I was going to do yesterday. We went to Mamouns and we ate felafel's. It was delicious as usual. When we were walking back towards the show, we saw a bunch of cops giving people tickets, and we didn't know why. A cop stops Brandon on his bike, and tells him to stand against the wall near this restaurant. He ends up giving him a $75 ticket for riding his bike on the side walk, and wouldn't even give him a warning. It was pretty lame. Brandon went home and me and Kyle walked around for a little. We walked to the green and sat and waited, for something to come up. I started screaming for some reason, and didn't stop for a while, I don't know why this happened. We ended up walking to Moe's to visit Steve at work. It was only about 8 and it started raining. We got there and got free nachos because Steve is awesome and his manager doesn't care. We were eating, and I don't know how this started but Kyle said something along the lines of, "what if I threw this salsa at you". It was a cup of salsa. It's a Mexican restaurant. I told him there was no way, I told him he wouldn't do it. Maybe I even DARED him too. I really didn't think he was going to. I got salsa all over my shirt and pants. Dan went to the package store then to fair haven to get bud. Me and Kyle helped clean at Moe's after they closed down so that Steve could get out faster. I wrote down my name and number for the Manager so maybe I could get a job. Dan picked us all up, and we went back to his house, and Brandon came back. We all chilled on his front porch and then went in his garage and smoked a blunt. Steve had beer, but I didn't even have one, not even for my birthday. I was too high. I haven't been that way in so long, I didn't wanna do anyyyything. Needless to say, it was awful when my dad came to pick me up. There was no way I was going to hide the fact that I was baked as fuck. So I came up with a new plan. I just started trying to make conversation about anything that I could, and talk to him. We talked the whole way home. I came home, went to the computer, went upstairs, showered, talked to Jared. And went to sleep <3

its my birthday

The sun is out, it's a beautiful day. And I have no plans as of right now. I'm kinda tired, I am considering taking a nap. I don't know yet. This weekend I went to Uconn to see Jared and it was fun. Every time I go up its always raining, I saw Will again on the bus, the Chinese guy. Me and Jared watched the movie "wanted" it was really good. So un realistic, but I liked it. When I went home the bus ride back was fine. There was a car accident though, a car was flipped on its side and people were trying to flag down the bus, but the driver wouldn't stop. All I saw was 3 people pulling a person out of the car, it was nuts. I got stuck downtown for a few hours once I got back, because my phone died, the buses stopped running, AND my parents didn't answer when I got on a payphone. It was pretty bad. Some guy kept giving me quarters for a payphone. I don't know why. School went by fast, I had a half day today. Our days are already half days, so it was a quarter day I guess. We got out at 10:45. I had a test today in history and I'm pretty sure I did alright. My mom is paying Stefan $50 to set up fish stuff for her tank, and he just got here so hes doing that right now. I have no idea. I really need to figure something out. Last night Steff and her boyfriend came to pick me up, we smoked a blunt and got drunk, I had fun. Steff is an awesome girl. She's one that I know will never talk about me. Anyway, I'm not seeing Jared this weekend =/. I don't know if I'll see him the weekend after either. All I know is, my dad is going away the 16Th to the 20Th and Jared will be here that weekend. But its only the first! that is so far from noww. I can do it : )

listen

I'm in a really good mood. I can't wait for the weekend.
It can't come fast enough..

you cant even begin to understand

Today I woke up and went to school. I've noticed that every time Laura puts on a movie, I put my head down and go to sleep. Every time I wake up, my leg is still asleep. Not just asleep, but like. Pins and needles. I cant even move it for at least 10 minutes. And this happens every day now. I know what your thinking.. don't sleep in class? But there's nothing to learn from this awful person. I'm not even going to go into detail. She kicked me out of class the other day too. For no reason. No no no, I really didn't do anything. I can admit when I'm fooling around, or trying to piss someone off. I can even admit when I'm wrong, and say sorry to you. But that bitch is crazy, and NOW I haven an absence in her class because there was 10 minutes left when she kicked me out. I can not miss one day between now and October 26th. All of my teachers are completely unreasonable and irrational. Except for Joe. Marc kicked out a stupid for blowing his nose today. And kicked out a girl for asking him why he did that. You can't just get mad for no reason, and kick people out when your having a bad day because you hate your life because you work at adult ed. When someone gets kicked out, it could determine weather they graduate or not. And it doesn't seem fair to me. Anyway. Julie called me a little after I got out of school, and she picked me up and we hung out. We went to stop and shop, than her house and hung out with Devin for a little. I didn't stay there that long. When I got home I dyed my hair. And freaked out because I had no idea how I was going to see Jared this weekend. Charles is lending me some $ for the bus, and I'm going to pay him back with my birthday money next week. He really is a good friend to me, I hope he see's this and calls me to say hi. Anyways, I have been going to bed early every night. It's great, It's only 10:10 right now, and I'm already feeling tired. There's a slight chance I might get mono, because Jared's friend has it. We might all get mono. That would suck?

work4 f00d

Today I went to school. I was very tired this morning, but I got myself up anyway. It's like this everyday though, why can't I just wake up in a good mood, and ready to start the day. At least once. I mean, it's always going to be early. But it would be nice. Just sayin'. School went by fast, as usual. Malcolm X is starting to get really good. I would read it on my own, but everyone in my class is a burnt piece of toast that won't read. My English teacher, Joe, reads aloud. It's not bad, it's just like how my mom did when I was younger. The rest of the classes weren't that bad either. I'm starting to get more and more used to Laura, and how dumb she is. And It's easier for me to get used to it, now knowing, that she is on drugs. I've already accepted the fact that I won't learn anything in her class. And it's okay. When I got home, I was so tired. I tried staying awake and stuff for some reason, even though I didn't have plans. I went to sleep. I had my alarm set for 3:30 but I was way too tired to get up. People kept calling me though, so I eventually woke up somewhere around 4:30 maybe. I had a dream, and well. Nothing's really important besides the end, Julie was calling me in the dream and I was dream talking to her, and her actually calling me woke me up. I think that's crazy. She just got her license, I'm so happy. It's awesome. Anyway, I have no idea what I'm going to do this weekend. I miss Jared, but I'll probably see him next weekend. Hopefully. I can't really recap on anything, because I haven't done much, since last weekend. Which was the best weekenddd ever. The past few weeks of weekends that I spend with Jared, are really what makes me look forward to the next ones I'll spend with him <3. class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">reallyy want to do something. I know there's nothing special about turning 17, but it's only one year away from being 18. All my friends that are 18 don't even seem excited about it like I do. It's so many opportunities. People forget all the things you can do when your 18. Why do I have to live next to an airport? Every one's car alarm is always going off. That sound is really making me go insane. It doesn't stop. And most of the time, it wont stop. Because their car is parked at the airport because they took a PLANE somewhere. Awful. The food was good, but now I'm really stumped for what I'm going to do for the rest of the day. I'll probably fall asleep around 12 or 1 seeing as I just took like a 4 hour nap. But that's normal, I'll probably wake up fine. I'm bored! I wish someone would come over. I wish there was some good shows this weekend. There are some, but I'm not really interesting in any of them. Everyone likes ambitions, or a lot of people I know do. But I never got into them. I never listened to them, and I never went inside when I saw them play. I didn't do this on purpose, I just never did. And their last show is this weekend with Offsides, who is really good. Hostage Calm. And a few other bands, but I don't even care. I have a feeling I'm going to have a really terrible weekend, no no no. I really am.

damn people

This weekend was wonderful. I got to hang out with Jared at his college from Friday to Sunday and I had fun, I like it there. Today I had school and it went by pretty fast. I wish I knew more people at school.

search and destroy

Tomorrow I have school which is going to be easy and fast. After that I'm going downtown to the train station and taking a bus to see Jared. I'm staying until Sunday. But, I don't want to bore you with another entry of how happy I am with everything, so I'm not going to write anything.

so proud

I still feel a little upset about today, but not enough to actually effect my mood. I didn't go to school because as you can see from my previous entry, I didn't get much sleep last night. It's my fault though, I took such a long nap when I got home from school yesterday. I didn't sleep until 5:30 last time, an hour before I'm supposed to wake up. I didn't go to school today, which is probably a wrong move on my part. I really shouldn't have done that. It's okay I guess. I can only miss one more day from now and October 26Th. I really can't afford to lose any credits right now. I think I can do it. Charles stopped by for a few a little while after I woke up and I made breakfast and we just sat around. He left, and around 3 or 4 Julie came over with Stefan and Pat. Stefan and Pat left after like 10 minutes and Julie left less than an hour later. She was tired. I feel exhausted but I wanted to do something today. I didn't do anything yesterday or today. It's not really a bad thing I guess, but I wish I went out. Today and yesterday I did laundry and cleaned. A lot. I just finished up everything, in the past 3 hours. I feel really good about it. I hate having a dirty room. It's almost Friday <3

recap

I don't know what's going on. This summer has been one of the best summers I've ever had. I didn't even get a lot done, nothing too spectacular happened. It was just so simple and good. Even now things are good. I don't even care that I started school. I'm looking forward to Fall. I just feel like everything that I wanted to happen during this summer, did. It takes so much to upset me now. I hope I keep this feeling forever. The only thing I need to focus on, is getting sleep when I'm supposed to. Yesterday when I got home from school I was really tired, so I took a nap around 2. I slept for seven hours. I did so much last night, not sleeping at all. After I talked to Jared I did some laundry, worked out, took a shower, made kyle call me and we talked for an hour about nothing of any importance. We were playing those games on addictinggames.com. The boneless girl game is so fun. I can play it for so long. It's not even a game, what the fuck.

ps

Fall fest was fun. It was canceled the 2nd night because of the tropical storm.

fuck you laura

I hate my history teacher. no no no, I really do. Shes the dumbest person I've ever met in my life. School went by pretty fast today. I was not ready to wake up though. But I'm glad the hard part of the day is over. Now I can relax and think about how soon Friday is and how great my weekend is going to be. I know it's only Monday, but still. I don't even care if I don't do anything today. I feel pretty lazy. My legs hurt from jogging with Jackie. Oh yeah.. we do that now. It probably wont last, but we already went out twice. I've been hangin out with Jackie a lot, She slept over my house twice and I slept at her house in 4 days. I haven't seen Julie since last Monday, or something a really long time ago. I feel like she's so busy lately, maybe we'll hang out Tuesday. I'm tired, I might go to sleep in a little bit.

one size

CAN THINGS GET ANY BETTER?? Yesterday I had school, and it went fine. We're reading Malcolm X in English class. Math is just confusing, and my US history and Civics class aren't that bad. Besides the face that my teacher Laura is really stupid. No no no, she really is a dumb lady. I think she's on drugs. I don't think she has a teaching degree. Civics was my favorite class in high school with Mrs. Gratz, and it's going to suckkk with this lady. I've given her a chance, trust me. She's just a conservative, idiot. Not saying some one's views are wrong, but she has no idea what she's talking about. Anyway, Malcolm X isn't a bad book, its not boring, I just can't get into it. I don't know why. Later on Yesterday, well not really later, the second I got out of school I came home and ate and took the city bus downtown and met up with Kyle and Chris. I watched them skate for a little bit in some spots, then I went into Chanel one for a little and talked to Lou. There was some guy in there that is friends with my brother, he told me to say hey to my brother for him but I forgot his name. Oh well. We went to Kyle's house after that, and drank beers. I can't put it in any different term. We didn't chill outside, we didn't do anything dumb. We just sat in his room and drank beers. Kyle tried teaching us this drinking game because we were a little bored, and all you needed was cups and dice. He couldn't find any dice besides these really little ones. They were the size of like, half my pinkie nail. I don't know why it was so funny because they were so small, but it was. Andy, his friend Bill, Steve and loser Dan came over. It sucks I don't ever wanna hang out with him again. He sucks at everything, and if that means its going to be another year of complete awkwardness then so be it! I don't wanna be around him! I was starting to get really drunk and aware that I didn't have a ride home. It was around 8 and me and Kyle looked up the bus schedule for the stop near his house, I ended up leaving soon after that. Kyle walked me to the bus stop and ran back. I called Jared and was so surprised and happy to talk to him for some reason. It was great. I only waited for probably less than 20 minutes before the bus came. I was real shocked when it did actually come. I got on the bus drunk as hell, I was the only one on it. When I got downtown I was real nervous I don't know why. Maybe because it was late as hell. There was homeless people everywhere, and I didn't have my knife on me. I always do. When I was waiting at my bus stop there was some really creepy people. My bus didn't take very long to come though, again. It was hard seeing outside the bus because of the lights on inside. I got off the bus is some weird mood, and walked home in the rain. When I got home it was basically intervention status, but not really. My parents took the computer mouse away because they were pissed that I haven't been taking my medication. Little do they know, I haven't taken it once in 4 months. I was piss drunk trying to win the argument. I ended up winning times a thousand, and got permission to visit Jared this weekend from my mom. She finally realizes that I'm fine without it. She kept asking me why I couldn't compromise with her and stuff, but she doesn't get it. It's been 4 years and she was never willing to compromise. She never listened to anything I had to say about it. I don't even wanna get into this right now. I was very mad. She didn't even believe that I hadn't taken them for so long. It's true. Today I forgot to set my alarm for school, I ended up waking up 10 minutes after I normally would. I was so scared at that point. I can't miss a day of school. It would hurt my credits so much, I just can't afford it. I can't let something like that happen again where I wake up late. School went fine though, I was really tired some of the time but it always goes by really fast. ALWAYS. I went home and took a really long nap. Well not that long, i slept until 5 when my alarm went off. It's only almost 7 right now. I just got done talking to Madison, I think she's going to give me a ride up to Uconn tomorrow!! We will leave tomorrow and come back on Sunday, her sister goes to Eastern so her sister's boyfriend would give us a ride. I really hope it all works, I'll get out of school, and take the bus to Madison's house. No matter what happens this weekend its going to be great. Fall fest is this weekend, I'm excited, but not too upset that I might have to miss it. It's whatever I guess. I always look forward to it, but things like this haven't really excited me that much this year. Like, the lady of Pompeii carnival. Or St. Bernadette's carnival. I used to die for those, not anymore. Fall fest would be great, but I would miss Jared too much and I'd probably be thinking about him the whole time and I wouldn't even have fun. He left my house Monday.. And it's only Thursday, but think about it. If I can't go this weekend, I'll have to wait until next weekend, that won't be nice. Anyway, enough of this. I'm waiting for Jackie to get out of school at 9:30 then we're hangin out and probably having a sleepover at my house. Captain Morgan is invited too. I want Julie to hang too, I haven't seen her since Sunday morning, we haven't spent this much time apart in a while. I miss her.
LIFE IS SO GOOD.

happy

I've given a lot of thought
on this 13 hour drive
I miss the grinded concrete
where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing
In the glow of our headlights.

I've given a lot of thought
to the nights we used to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast

I faintly remember breathing
on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you,
but you swear you loved me more
-boxcar racer

everything is falling into place. My life was great and now you make it so much better, once again. I'm happy I can call you mine. I'm lucky I get to be yours again. I know it will work out for us. Nothing can come between you and me. No distance, I mean it. The past 3 days with you have been the best of my whole summer. I don't know what I would do without you now. My sister left for college on Saturday. I will miss her, no matter what was said or done. I did not go up to Boston to drop her off with my family. I stayed at the house. A few friends came over, there was no party. Jared took the bus up here around 4, and he didn't get here until almost 10. I was so worried and scared something bad was going to happen. Everything ended up alright. We cuddled all day and night and slept amazing. I had so much fun Saturday night. Julie, Devin, Charles, Dan and Jared were at my house. Everyone slept over besides Charles. We played beer pong and smoked blunts and I have such good memories from Saturday night. Sunday morning I cleaned everything, even though there wasn't that much to clean. Everyone left besides Jared. We hung out all day and walked around and no matter what happened I felt so good being together. Even when we weren't doing anything. I mean it. My parents came home a little later on Saturday, but me and Jared were already at Mike's house. We were there almost the whole day, doing nothing really. Kevin, Tom, Chris, Jimmy, Jackie and maybe someone else ended up there. Me and Jared walked home and it wasn't even bad out. I love walking around at night. It was so cool, so we started running because I wanted to and it was fun. My parents were being real assholes, I'm so sorry. I still feel really bad. Not really my mom, but my dad. He wouldn't let Jared sleep over because he's a piece of shit. They said he could sleep outside on the trampoline, which is fun every now and then. It wasn't bad out. But think about it, that's so rude. He doesn't have his car and he lives over an hour away. How could you do that to someone. I'm still mad at them about it, I haven't spoken to him once all day. Me and Jared sat out and talked for hours and it was really comfortable. This morning we woke up a little after 10. I slept pretty good. This morning we hung around for a little, watched some tv. We walked to Zrawzers for cigarettes and walked back.

When we came back to the house, we talked in my room for a little bit. His friend Pat picked him up around 3. I was so sad saying goodbye. The second I get money I'm coming up to visit him. I mean it.

natty ice

holy shit im fuckin cocked, im at julies house with devin and julie. we were at danas house with randy and we did limbo and danced and i want to take you out on a dinner movie

school, thursday

Whhhhaattt a night. Today I woke up, Julie had slept over last night. Shell and Alyssa came over in the morning for a little bit, than Julie left with them. I got ready to go out and Stefan picked me up early, around 4. We picked up Jill and went to the show. I got to see a lot of my friends and all the bands were really good besides soul control, fuck them. I don't really have much else to say. Yesterday I hung out with Julie and Devin and Jackie for a little. Julie slept over. I start school Thursday! It's going to be crazy waking up that early.. Goodnight!

4 more days

Left of freedom. 4 more days, left of sleeping in. Parties. Warm weather is gonna start getting cold. Only thing good about this; FALL, my birthday. I can't wait for my birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do. And I need to think soon. Yesterday, I woke up around 11, because a car alarm went off. It didn't stop for over a half hour. It was fucking ridiculous. I was pretty upset about that. I tried staying awake after it went out, but that wasn't happening. I went back to sleep right after, and didn't wake up til' 4!! I got ready for the day a little, bleached my hair because it was needed, took a shower. My sister was having a huge movie party with all her lame friends, and my sister Vicky went all out with red carpets, balloons, candy stands, everything. It was pretty insane. There was no way I was going to stay at the house with all of those people there. She had like 20 of her friends there. A lot of them I have never even seen in my whole life. The party was for the movie that she was in. I always forget the name of it. It was called in bloom but they changed it, it doesn't even play in the US I don't think. It's not like shes important or anything, just a random person in the backround. No lines. Stefan came over shortly after the party began. After a little bit, we went to pick up Julie. We were going to go to a party at this kids house but apparently they had beef with Stefan. And you know how he is, always pickin' fights with people! HAhahahah. Not at all though. We ended up going to Meriden, to Dana's house. I had such a fun night. All I wanted to do was get drunk because I haven't in so long. I had a lot of fun. Marisa and Kirsten and some other people I knew were there. I just had a good time. We had to leave kinda early because Stefan had to get home, but it was alright. I couldn't sleep at all when I got home. I tried laying down at least 3 times, tired each time, but no sleep. I ended up going for a bikeride at 4:30A.M. I went to John's house to smoke. When I got home I slept fine. Today I wanna hang out with Jackie or Kyle. I don't wanna be stuck here all day. Dana called me a little while ago. He said hes going to Phillidelphia for a few days.

no sleep for the wicked

Another sleepless night.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't sleep for anyything.
I need to take a shower and just go to bed. I have such a blank feeling right now, I don't even feel alive. It's not even that late. Well, none of my friends are awake right now. It's almost 4. I just feel like I haven't been doing anything with myself the past few days.
Like, I have been going out and hangin out with friends a tiny bit, but
I want to go out and do something fun.
I start school in 10 days. I need to make more out of this summer.
I need a new job.

walk dont run

Today. My mom woke me up at 12 and told me to get ready to go to her friends house up the street, because my parents were going there. She told me to just walk there in a little bit since I wasn't going to wake up. I woke up around 2, got ready, and walked with my sister up the street. My uncle Pat was there, but besides that I didn't know any of those people that well. Me and Pat played boccie ball against two of my dads friends. We played an 11 game, and we won. I love playing so much. When I got home, I talked to Hayleigh and she came over. We talked about some stuff, than we went for a walk to WaWa's to get cigarettes. We waited for a bit than my sister showed up with her friend Mikey. He bought them for me. Than we walked to Nathan Hale for some reason. Talked about how much we missed middle school. And hung out in the playground. Then we went to my house, went on the computer. Jackie came over with Jill. We hung out and talked here for a little bit, than we went to meet Hector at Wendy's. Then we went to WaWa's. Then we went to the seawall and smoked a L. It was a good day. I'm starting to enjoy the past few nights being almost like fall. It's not hot at night anymore. I don't mind it. Jackie took me and Hayleigh back to my house and I didn't feel good all of the sudden. I ate a little bit and than took a nap for maybe an hour or 2 at the most. I woke up and we watched 2 degrassi espisodes. I watched 3 of them yesterday. And they were all new ones that I haven't seen yet. I need to keep up more. They were so good though, I love that show. After we did this, Hayleigh hung out with my sister I think, because I went out to hang out with Chris for a few. I just got home a few minutes ago. It's almost 4:30 but I've been going to sleep so late, I'm so used to it. I need to get out of it though. I start school the 28th. I'm not tired at all right now. I'm almost positive that Hayleigh's sleeping. I wish we could stay up and talk more.

trapped

Today I woke up in my sisters bed. I almost forgot I slept there because there was a mosquitoes in my room. She woke me up really early so she can go protest something. I don't even know. I went back to sleep, and woke up again at 11:55. My tattoo appointment was at 1:30 and my moms was at 1, so I freaked out a little bit because there was no way I could get ready and take a bus than walk from downtown to the middle of state street in time. My dad ended up taking us. Everything went fine. It hurt really bad, I don't think I'll be getting anymore any time soon. After that, my dad took me to Jill's house for her graduation party. Julie, Devin, Stefan, Chris, Pat, Madison, Jenna and a few others were there. I can't think right now. We hung out around her house then went to the store to get a ball so we could play kickball. Her dog ended up popping one of them, so Devin took Jill's dirt bike and rode it down rt. 80 to try and find another ball! That must have been such a funny sight. He couldn't get one. Me, Stefan, Madison and Jill ended up going to walmart to get a soccer ball that we used instead. We went to the Pitt and played kickball for a little bit. It would have been better if there was more people though. After people started leaving me and Chris hung out with Jill for a little. We went to Burger King. Then Chris came over, and we went to Julie's for a few minutes. When I got home, I tried making plans but it didn't really work. I didn't party at all this weekend. LAME. And I've been going to bed so late every night. This can't be good. I start school in 11 days. I just watched 3 new Degrassi episodes that I haven't seen in a while. I still love watching that show even though it changed so much. It never gets old to me! I can't wait to take a shower and curl into bed so I can get some rest, for whatever awaits me tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow. It doesn't matter.

my ink

will be done tomorrow!

its 6:39

I just had to break into my house through a window. It was the first time I ever entered my house in that way, it was kind of weird. The back door was locked when I got home, I tried calling my sister like 10 times so she could let me in but she didn't answer. Right now I'm eating a bowl of cereal. I don't hear any birds outside which is odd. I used to hate coming home this early because the birds would keep me up when I tried to sleep. Today I hung out with Julie and Devin for a little. Than Dan picked me up with Kyle, Bruder and Brandon. We smoked and than went to the mall. Then went back to Dan's and did nothing. Then, I went home. Because they wanted to go fishing.

in this moment

Today I woke up around 3, yeah. I was pretty surprised about that. Yesterday I got ready to go out and meet my mom downtown. I took the bus and we went out to lunch at Temple Grill, near Subway on Chapel street. It's a really nice place. And the people there are really friendly. Then we went to Channel one and my mom bought me 2 shirts, we talked to Lou for a while and told him that we were going to Studio Zee to get tattoo appointments, and he told us that we should get it done by his friend Sebastian "bezerc". We went to Studio zee and made the appointment, its this Saturday at 1:30. I'm getting it on my lower back. Turns out that I knew this guy sort of, because he used to work at "the edge" tattoo place on chapel street. It shut down over a year ago. AND, my brother knows him. How fucking weird is that. He used to work for my brother when he had the graffiti shop in New Haven, 10 times dope. This was over 15 years ago, but I guess him and my brother aren't really friends anymore. But I won't get into that. Later on yesterday, after I hung out with my mom I took the bus downtown to Dan's house and hung out with him and Kyle. We didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. We got some beer and smoked a blunt and played beer pong in Dan's garage for like 10 minutes. Kyle got schooled, I hope hes readin' this now too. I tried fighting him a few times as usual. Later that night, Dan took me home. I was on the computer for a bit, than Chris came to pick me up and we went to his house and talked and watched weird shows, and cartoons. This guy on Ripley's had no arms and he did all these crazy sports. It was insane, I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't end up sleeping until somewhere around 5a.m. Hence why I woke up at 3p.m. Today I did nothing, Julie and Devin came over for a bit and we hung out and talked, then Devin left and Julie slept over. Which is now. Except its 2:35 and shes sleeping. We watched the movie Vantage Point. I like action movies. It was kind of confusing, but I understood it after a bit. I start school August 28Th. Summer vacation is almost over, and I need to get my sleep back together. I've been trying to finish this entry for almost an hour, damn. I wish I had more to say. I feel like I have more to say. I think it's just the fact that I feel so complete now. I have nothing, but everything I need. I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. And I don't really want one right now. I don't want anything.

get a job

My previous entry was just a joke, in case you didn't know. Today I'm gonna get ready than go downtown and meet my mom, and go to studio zee and make a tattoo appointment. Hopefully they will have time today for it, that would be really cool. Yesterday I sat around most of the day and I walked to John's house and hung out there til 1a.m basically. We watched some really weird TV shows and some show about interventions, it was hilarious. This girl was addicted to whip its and she was so retarded and she was saying the funniest shit. She was a cutter, and had an eating disorder too. Isn't that insane? Anyway. AUGUST 8TH. I saw leftover crack, common enemy and a few other bands that I had no care for. Copyright Chaos was supposed to play but they didn't because one of them had work. There was so many kids there. Jared brought a huge bag of donuts and there was food flying everywhere outside. There was some chick fights too inside. Insane. August 10Th, CT punkfest. Hostage Calm, The Kill Boys, Eat and Run, Point of Impact, Stomped on Sight, Product of Waste, Kulture Shock, Copyright Chaos and a few others I can't even remember. I got there around 1, and I didn't leave until 11 because Hostage Calm played last and the times got pushed back a little. I had fun all day, even though I got really tired. On another note, I've decided that I'm never going to allow myself to associate with someone that used to be a crackhead. Or over the age of 20 and still unemployed. You kind of remind me of a vegetable.

LOVESTRUCK

frankie hands is the most dreamy hunksicle ive ever layed eyes on!!



he says cute things like this!

marinateyourlife: whats livejournal?

Mid August

I don't want summer to end. It's already almost the middle of august, that also means my birthday is coming up. Rhode Island was amazing just like I thought it was going to be. The first day we stayed at the beach for over 6 hours and it was so fun and I got sun burned really bad. Later that night we played pool and ping pong for a little and went out to eat at a really nice place. Within an hour of being at the hotel me and Julie stole beers from one of the rooms near ours. Everyone left their coolers outside! I got pretty silly that night, but not as much as much as Julie. We went in the hotel pool in the middle of the night and a guy came outside and told us to get out because pool hours were closed. We had a ton of fun Nonetheless. The next day I could barely walk because my sun burn was so bad. I felt kinda sick too. We went kayaking for a little bit in the morning but I was so behind everyone else because I felt so bad, so it sucked kinda. After that I stayed at the hotel while everyone else went to the beach, because there was no way I could do that again. Later on we went to misquamicut and had dinner and went to the arcade and there was a few rides there too and I had fun. I'm glad I ended up sleeping fine both nights. Well, I didn't get a lot of sleep. But I did get some sleep. I ended up buying ear plugs the first day we went, it helped. When we got back to the hotel from Misquamicut me and Julie started drinking again because we stole more from a different room. And I was retarted all night. When it was real late, we went for a walk to get soda by the main office and I stole more beer. We kept watching all these weird shows too. The day I got back from Rhode Island my sun burn was still hurting but not as bad, I went to the St. Bernadette carnivle with Charles, Chris, and Bobby. I love it so much I'm going tonight too. Even though I really wanted to go to the leftover crack show. It's cool I guesss. Plus tonight and Tomorrow are the last 2 nights before it ends. So I have to go. Sunday is punkfest, and its gonna be so much fun I can'ttt wait. Yesterday was Kyles birthday so I got ready to go out and Dan picked me up and we went to Kyles house. A few people were already there and the night was gettin started right. Then a bunch more people ended up coming. Around 9 we ended up going to North Haven movies to see Pineapple express. I would have never imagined I would actually go see that movie the 2nd day it came out. I haven't seen a movie in so long, especially at the movies! It was really long and I didn't think I would be able to sit through the whole thing, I was getting really restless. I went with Kyle, Dan, Leo, Jesse, Andy, Goby, Chris, Steve, Kyle C, Stefan. Chris ended up coming for a little bit too, but he was gay and got a refund for his ticket. I don't know. I was real fucked up durin the movie so I barely remember most of the stuff that was going on. Right now I need to take a shower so I can get ready because Chris is coming over around 3. I really wanted to see LC tonight. Who knows when they'll come back to CT again. I need to take a shower and start getting ready for the day. I'm so lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

whaaaaat

Today. Today. Today......... I didn't do anything. Yesterday started off with me waking up and doing nothing for a while than I finalized my plans with Jackie and I got ready to go out and she picked me up, I'm not really sure what time she did, I'm assuming close to 7 maybe. We went to the Supply Pond to hang out with Jaime, Tom, and Grasso. I don't know why we went there, but it was fun I guess. I hadn't been there in a while. Kyle told me that him and a bunch of other people from Sound were going to the trolley tracks, and I thought it would be cool if Jackie and my friends got to go too. Jackie had a bottle of Captain, and Jaime had a lottt of beer. I thought it would be cool to chill there because I didn't really wanna hang around inside all night. Jaime's leaving for basic training on Monday for 4 months and I wanted him to have a good last night before he left. I hope he did end up having fun. The night was procrastinated so much before we actually went. We did so much driving back and forth, going to get food, going to stores, going to Northford to get beer, so much. I'm tellin' you, we didn't even get back to the center of East Haven until 12. Grasso was meeting this kid for bud at stop and shop and that worked out perfectly. Our group of people kept getting so big, we ended up showing up with like 9 people hahaha. We did almost get lost, but not quite. Everyone was so doubtfull of me, and they wanted to just stay at one spot because I wasn't completely sure if everyone was where I thought they were. I was right. Everyone did get mad for a second, but I wanted to find where my friends from Sound were because I assumed they already had a fire ready and stuff. Which they didn't. Once we showed up there, everyone was so fucked up and confused of why I was there with 8 people they didn't know. They only stayed for less than an hour after we got there because they had been there for a while. But I had fun. I hope everyone did. Most of the people that me and Jackie got to come, really didn't want to. I had fun. But after we were there for a while, me and Jaime and Dan actually got a fire going after a while. I was happy about that. But around 3, we heard people coming!! Isn't that scary. We thought there were cops, so we got all our stuff together and we were outtt of there within 30 seconds. Everyone went up the trail single file and Jaime was doing group counts and stuff. It was some crazy teamwork. I led everyone through the trail through most of it back to the tracks too, real intense. One thing I love about partying up there is the way back. There hasn't been one time that I didn't walk back fucked up out of my mind. I had no idea what was going on, and once we got back we went to Grasso's house and I was still fuckin cocked. I laughed at absolutely everything and we were watchin Reno 911 and it was hilarious. Than my friend Edgar from Sound came in the door with Mikes friend. It was the craziest shit ever, and it was like 4A.M. I was so confused. Me and Jackie slept at Jaime's house and I got the worst sleep over. I hate sleeping out. So much. I don't even remember sleeping at all actually. This morning Jaime's alarm woke me and Jackie up and she was in a delightful mood. She dropped me off at my house and we were going to go to Misquamicut today but the second I got home, I fell asleep. And it began to thunder. And rain. Really bad. I didn't get that good of sleep. I hate how I can't sleep with an AC on, but I can't sleep with it off either. What the hell is wrong with me. Which brings me to another sort of problem. Well see, I can't sleep with sounds or noises of any sort. I'm going to Rhode Island with Julie, Jill, Stefan and Julie's dad and step mom on Monday for 3 days. And we're gonna be staying at a hotel. I'm afraid someone is going to snore. It's not funny, I won't be able to sleep. And I'll be in a bad mood the whole time. On a lighter note, I am really excited about the following events that are gonna be happening. Tomorrow I'm going to Stefan's graduation party with Julie and Devin, and than we're going from there to Julie's dads house and I'm spending the night there, and the next morning we're going to Rhode Islanddd babyyyy, I'm so excited! You don't even know! And after that, the day I get back I'm going to the St. Bernadette's carnival. It's gonna rule. I love that carnival. It's so lame but its great. You know. I'm so hungry right now there's nothing to eat, I'm lazy. Besides everything that I just explained so you, and everything else that's going to happen. I'm sad on the inside. I like this boy a real lot, and I don't know why. I want a boyfriend. But I don't want to settle for anyone. It's driving me insane in more ways than I can even explain. I catch myself thinking about it so much. It's making me feel bad all the time. My friends might be right about him, but I can't let it go. Why me.

zombie

I wish I could keep the same mood level for more than one day.

I haven't done anything yet today.. its 3:49, I started cleaning my room a couple hours ago and I'm almost done. It's really dirty though. I haven't had time/energy to actually clean everything in so long. It's coming along alright though. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do today. I think I'm hangin out with Jackie and Tom and Jaime later. That's what she saidd at least. I wanna get real drunk tonight. I downloaded soulseek on my computer and I've been listenning to music so much more. I hate not being able to download music. I'm lovin' it. Yesterday I hung out with Charles in the morning, than Kyle and Dan came over and I went back to Kyles house with them. Bruder and Dewayne came there. We chilled in his room and then we went to get pizza. Later on, Andrew and I went to Julie's house and watched some movie about this jewish Nazi type kid. I think it was a good movie. I didn't pay attention to a lot of it so I didn't really fully understand most of it, but whatever. After that I hung out with Charles again and we went to the sea wall then came back here and did nothing. I was suppose to hang out with someone but they blew me off. What else is new. I hate being confused all the time. I need a new job. Fuck.

selfish brat

My mom and dad work so hard to keep this house and keep this family together. I'm gratful that my parents never fight. I can't understand why my sister can be so self centered. All she cares about is herself, she doesn't care that we're in debt right now. Right now shes crying to my mom about school and stuff. CRYING. Because we don't have enough money for the college she got into, so we're going to have to take out a huge loan for her, and we'll have to sell our house in order to pay it off when she gets out. That kind of pisses me off. I don't wanna move out. Shes 18 and doesn't even have her license or anything. She just got her FIRST job about two weeks ago and gets paid more than me fucking doing nothing. And than asks money from my mom for things that she doesn't need, and gladly accepts money when its offered. She never helps around the house. And to top everything else off. She acts like shes 10. I'm embarassed over some of the things she says and does. All of her morals are completely stupid and make no sense. All of her friends suck. She keeps me awake every night yelling and screaming to her friends on the phone until 1-3 A.M. Sometimes I have to go into her room three times to ask her to be quiet because I have to wake up for work at 7.

woah

I'm nothing like the person I was last year. At all.
So much has changed I don't even know where to start.
Last night I had a dream about Brandon, I don't understand why. R.I.P

I went to sleep around 3a.m. I woke up around 11. I'm already bored, and I can already almost tell that today.. is going.. to suck

oh no..

its 3:14.
not tired.
i dont know if i have work in the morning or not.
i have nothing else tto say goodnight

kaotic

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

fail

Yesterday. I woke up got ready and was off to the meriden mall with Julie and my family. We ate first because I was starving than we went shopping a little, I got new earrings, theyre the same size as my last 2 pairs but whatever I liked them anyway. After that I hung out at Julies for a little and Jackie came over soon after that. I got a bathing suit at the mall too I like it a lot. I got it because soon I'm going to Rhode Island with Jill, Stefan, and Julie. Julie's dad is taking us the 4Th, 5Th, and 6Th of August. I can't wait, seriously. Me, Julie and Jackie ended up going to Forbes to visit my boy hex, then my other friend to get something we needed. Then our night was complete to get started. I forgot what we did after that.. Oh yeah.. We hung out at lighthouse for a little bit, than we went back to Julie's house. That day I ate: Taco bell, ice cream, power bar, bagel and later on we went to Mamoun's in New Haven and I had a Falafel. Hhahahahaha. We were going to go to a show in New Haven, which was right near Mamouns. But than I got there, there was people there but I guess some bands weren't playing anymore or something. I have no idea. Dana was there too, I don't think he understands that when you do something fucked up people just get over it instantly. I like someone else now too, so I'm not just gonna go back to Meriden with him. Anyway, the show sucked, I didn't even go inside. So we went to the hookah bar? What the hell. I'm always the one to make fun of the hookah bar because of how popular it got and how they jacked the prices so much. And how stupid it is to pay $20 just to smoke for a few minutes. Not even anything good. SO stupid. We went there anyway. I was real fucked up. I had no idea what was goin on, and there was so many people there. I've never seen that many people there. We almost couldn't find a place to sit where we could all be together. So everything was going fine, I guess. By the way, I just woke up a few minutes ago so I'm slowing remembering most of the things that happened last night. I actually knocked over a hookah. I couldn't believe it. I still don't know how I did it, but it was my fault. Directly. The guy was pretty pissed about it, and they put new coals on it after but it wasn't working so than we only had one. All of the coals fell on my lap. As I'm writing this and remembering, that shit hurt pretty bad. I'm not going back their for a really long time. I can't believe I did that. I was fucked up though. That's gonna be my excuse. As for me coming home... Devin drove me Julie and Jackie to the show so he dropped us off at Julies house than Jackie drove me home. Everyone was pretty tired. I ended up coming on the computer for a brief moment. Than I went to sleep. I slept very well and I woke up around 12. I didn't go to sleep that late either. I woke up to 4 missed calls from 4 different numbers that I don't know. I'm really curious to who it was.

hahahah what

Is wrong with me. My last post is way too happy.

I only worked 2 days this week but somehow I made $65.

That's not gonna last at all. I successfully made my money from last week last until yesterday, which was really convienent. I went to see Immortal Technique and a few other rappers with Charles last night at toads. It was pretty amazing. He even signed my newport box anddd I got to talk to him for like a minute, yeah that is very exciting to me. I can't wait to go to Rhode island with Julie =) It's gonna rule. And right when I get back so many shows are coming up. I can't wait for punkfest. Everything is going so well. Tonight I'm suppose to go downtown with Ryan and see this documentary on the author that wrote Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It's 8:15, I hope I still go. I haven't done anything all day, and I don't have any plans tomorrow either. I want to hang out with Julie and Jackie and go to the beachh or something. I would like that. She even said something about Rhode Island, that would be sick. Yeahhh I need plans!

I'm bored as hotdogs.

FANTASTIC

im in such a good mood right now!!!

I love all of my friends so much!!

im so happy im depressed anymore like I have been the past week for no reason!

so many good things are gonna happen in the next few weeks.







<333333333333333333xoxoxoxoxoox