this past week

What am I doing. This weekend was okay.. Not really like I had expected it to be though. I don't know why I thought it was going to be something amazing. I only went to school once last week, yeah I regret that.. I don't know if I would have been happier if I went more but I didn't really leave my house much at all. I haven't really been up to anything. I haven't been sad or anything out of the ordinary. I just haven't really done, anything. I can't explain how it feels to wake up and do nothing for so long. I want to do something, but there's nothing to do. On Friday I sat around most of the day, Tara came over and we hung out for a couple hours. Most of the day I was just in a sort of, hatred feeling for everything because most of the people I knew were at prom. And nothing I could do could change the fact that I couldn't go, and that everyone was going to be talking about it no matter what. I have accepted this. Brandon, Kyle, and Leo came over for a little bit. We didn't do anything. They left and Brandon stayed. There was nothing to really do at my house, we made pizza, watched a movie. It was raining. And all I could think about, was how much I wanted to wear my dress that night. And go to prom just like everyone else. And be with my friends. And go out and party after. It wont even matter if I go to prom next year, because most of my friends are going away to college, or whatever. Most people say that it's nothing really special, and that it's a waste of money. Those are also the same people that go to prom anyway. But I'll never know what its like at all. And I'm leaving Sound this year. All I wanted was to go. I'm kind of relieved that it's all over now though. I got to hear about it all last night too. I'm glad everyone had fun though. I can't believe it's already almost the end of May, it's been raining almost everyday and to honest, this weather is really shitty. Enough of this though, I had fun last night. I woke up kind of early, my dad told me that it was Friday and that I needed to get up for school and I said, no its Saturday. Hahah, that went back and forth for a while. Then my dad said, I'm goin to the pig roast in an hour, so I got up and was ready in 15 minutes. I love going to lake quassy, even though most of the rides are lame, and everyone there sucks, and its mostly white trash. I always have fun when I go. So I went there for a few hours and hung out with my niece. Then we came home, I got ready to hang out with everyone. And my friend Keven walked to my house from the center, and came over for a little bit. I felt bad because I had already made plans with people and I only got to see him for a little bit. I haven't seen him in over a year because he moved to California. Anyways.. I let him borrow a bike because his house is so far away and he had already done so much walking. I made him a sand which too. He met Kyle, Andy, Brandon, and Dan. They came over too. When we were in my room, Kyle and Brandon were talking and then Brandon runs out of my house runs across the street and dives into my neighbors bush. I had no idea what was going on. He comes back into my house and throws a baby bird on my bed. A small innocent baby bird. I was so pissed. I still can't believe he would do that, because even if he returned the bird its parents would probably kill it because Brandon touched it. He went outside and killed it. I don't even know why I'm writing about this. When we were outside, everyone was on the trampoline, and Brandon climbed my tree and was about to jump off really high onto the trampoline for a while, it was really exciting. He never did. He got a bunch of baby bird eggs though. What the hell is wrong with this kid. I didn't even know he did this until we went inside, he put one in my moms fish tank. And he threw the rest of them in the road. I was pretty upset. No I wasn't. It's fucked up I guess. It took us so long to figure out something to do, and there was a lot of pointless driving. We went to Kyle's house for a little bit. Me Kyle and Andy went to Kennedy fried chicken and I bought Newport's and a game. They didn't card me =). We all ended up at stop and Shop, Dan picked up babyluth, Jackie met us at stop and shop. And I was in Andy's car, Kyle stole it for a little bit in the parking lot, but that happens almost every time I'm with them. We were all on our way to the trolley tracks, everything was all planned out. Then the rain started coming down. Jackie realized she had a free house so I go with Jackie, and Dan and Andy follow us to Jackie's house in their cars. It was pretty funny. There's not really much else to say about the rest of the night. Or that I can remember. I didn't wanna go home at all because I was so drunk but I had no where else to say. So I did anyway.. Holy shit it sucked so bad. When I went inside I had to go right upstairs and completely avoid my dad. I took a shower and when I got out I was still really messed up. I ended up going right to sleep. I didn't wanna sleep because I was waiting for Jim to call me back but I had nothing else to do so I figured I would just wake up and talk to him when he called. I hardly remember what happened, but I bet I sounded like a retard on the phone. I hope he doesn't think I'm dumb, hahaha. Today I woke up and hung out with my family and did nothing. I'm okay with this.