your mind is an instrument

Tonight is going to be awesome. You know when you get that feeling that your going to have a good weekend? I know I'm going to have fun no matter what happens tonight. It's fucking halloween. I'm waiting for Jared to come over right now. I'll post again on Sunday or something and tell you what happened..

raison bagels

Are pretty good. Today I had school, and there was a lot of new faces. It was kind of cool starting new classes with new kids. I like my new teacher Jean, a lot. She's so nice. I know if I stay on her good side I'll enjoy that class. And all of my other classes are fine too. After school, I stayed after with Diana and Melissa for a 1/2 course where we watch a movie clip and write a paragraph, it doesn't take long, less than a half hour after school gets out. But it's with Laura, so I doubt I'm going to stick with that. After school, me and Diana went to Branford to try and get a job. We applied at almost every store on Branford Hill, and the Kohl's Plaza. Really, we applied everywhere, we were out for over 3 hours. I'm going to driving school tonight, finally. I think it's from 6-8 but I have to find out. I woke up so late this morning, fuck my cell phone alarm. It hasn't been reliable at all lately. My mom woke me up at 7:10 and I was really mad because I thought I had more time to sleep. But in reality, I only had 20 minutes to get ready. It was not nice. I still made it and walked to school on time. Yesterday, I hung around with my family which was nice. We had 3 birthdays for family day yesterday because Teresa's, Vinny's and Jon Michael's birthday are all really close together. I love watching them open presents, they get so excited. Later on, Jackie came to pick me up and we went to pick up Kevin, then went to Lenny's house and hung out there for a little bit. We ended up goin for a burn cruise then we had an idea to go downtown to the shubert theater stairs, like I would normally do. I don't know. I like going there, but its not exciting to me anymore, plus it's really sketchy. Anyway, we got there, and there was a door for the theater open right next to the stairs, and it looked like they were doing construction on it. It was definitely not a good idea, but they were all for sneaking around it and going up anyway. So we sneak by and quietly go up the stairs all the way to the top. Once we got to the top, I wasn't really worried after a few minutes. After we smoked, we hung out and talked for a bit. And started to get kind of loud. We were sitting there smoking cigarettes, and all the sudden a cop comes out of no where. Seriously, I did not hear him coming at all. He asked us what we were doing up there, and Jackie told him we were talking about time travel, and she wasn't lying. We were talking about time travel. I won't get into that though. The cop sounded really irritated, but we were too friendly for him to actually arrest us. By the way, your not suppose to hang out on the fire escape stairs behind the Shubert Theater. He let us go, just like that. After that, we went to Mike's house, even though no one really wanted too. And when we got there, it was a disaster. Just pointless drama that someone had to start, not naming anyone. We ended up leaving and going back to Lenny's. Then Jackie took me home. Things seem to be going fine with my life. I recently made a flickr account.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/covegirl321/

who are we

Am I getting paid back, for something I did wrong?

confused

I'm so confused. I'm not even going to talk about it. Yesterday, I didn't do anything in school because it was the last day of the marking period. I got home and took a nap. Later on, Jackie and Brie came over. We went to meet up with Steve and Lance. We hung out and tried to make plans for the night and eventually figured something out. It involved drinking beer, so I was happy, because I had wanted to for a while. A few people I knew all hung out there, Brie left. Then we all went to some concert at Toads. It was really lame. I really wish I didn't pay $10 for it. So stupid. Some hippie bandsss. I guess it wasn't that bad, just not my thing. We ended up going back to Lance's house and chilled for a little bit longer. I tried to sleep the second I got home and showered and stuff. I was going to do community service this morning for my school, but I decided not to. I could do it at the end of the year, or next year or something. I was not trying to wake up at 6:30 on a Saturday, especially after last night. So this morning, I woke up, didn't do much, then went to walmart with my parents. I got 2 pairs of shoes and a purse. Then we went to TJ max and I got 3 pairs of jeans and a shirt, I'm so happy. I got earrings too, which are nice. I'm so happy. It's only 7, it feels a lot later though.. And it's raining now.. I probably wont do anything tonight

i guess im beat

I don't know. I did my English test that we had to bring home to do, it wasn't that hard. I did it in 30 minutes maybe. I still feel like shit. I want this cold to go away. I don't have any energy. I can't even think about working out right now. I'll probably take a hot shower and go to sleep. It's 10:44 anyway. I just watched another Dexter with my mom. This was the 5th episode, and I'm pretty sure it's the last one that I saw, because I saw most of the first season. Hopefully when we watch one tomorrow it will be one I haven't seen yet. My dad is coming home tonight, at like 1. I need a break..

its true, i do have feelings

Why can't people just leave me alone. Why do people always feel the need to start shit, when I'm trying to be a better person. I don't fucking get it. Most of you girls, I've never talked to in my whole life. Grow the fuck up, and leave me alone. Get some logic in your dumb head and try and understand how immature your actions make you look. I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've dealt with this for as long as I could. I hope when I'm in my 20's I don't pick on younger girls, that may have made mistakes, that have nothing to do with me at all. It's almost comical for me to try and understand why anyone would do this. Who can I even talk to about this? Fuck this blog. I'll probably read this again and delete it later.

watch dexter

It really is a good show. I'm so happy I can watch it free online. I've been watching it with my mom. We watched the first 4 episodes of season one, I can't wait to watch more tomorrow. Because I already saw the first few so I knew everything that was going to happen. I'm sick right now, I have a nasty cold. School was very tiring today. I took a 5 hour nap. It's 12 now, and I'm probably going to take a bath or something. I know I'm going to have trouble with waking up tomorrow. Fuck. I'm still happy to say that I am still happy. Even if my life were to completely change by tomorrow, I think I'd still be happy. I think I'm going to take a bath or something, I have no idea what to tell you.

goodnight

its cold outside now

This week was good. Everything is fine. School is fun. Friday I went to school, went home and took a nap, then I started to get ready because Jared was coming down! He was getting a ride from Pat. He ended up getting here at 8, I think. Me and Julie were hangin out beforehand, too. We were waiting for Jared so we could go to the show in Meriden that Devin booked. It ended up having a good turn out. I had fun. I can't really go into detail about the show, nothing really happened. It was a good time. After the show, we cleaned a little. Then went to sleep at Julie's dads house in Wallingford. It was so cold outside at that point. I woke up so many times during the night because of how cold it was, and I had a headache the next morning. I love waking up next to Jared. Saturday morning and afternoon was probably my favorite part. Julie dropped me and Jared off at my house, and we hung out there and I cut Jared's hair and it looks so gooddd, then Tara came over and we took showers. We all talked and stuff then we went to get bud so we could smoke a blunt. I had fun. I hadn't seen her in so long. All summer basically. Tara left after a little bit, and we hung out at my house for a while. Later on, Julie and Devin picked us up and we went back to my house and chilllledd then Charles and his girl Cathy came overr, it was a totally sweet triple date party at my house, hahah. Just kidding. We hung out and talked, that's about it. Then it started getting late, Charles and Cathy left, and everyone started going to sleep. I went to sleep around 1:30 maybe. Me and Jared woke up at 8, got ready and walked to the bus stop. The bus came only a few minutes later, exactly when it was supposed too. It was really cold. We walked to the train station and the second we got there his bus was there, it came early. So we said our goodbyes, and I walked to the bus stop, waited mad long, got on a bus, and came home. I can't tell you how cold I was, lol. I came home and went to sleep basically. It was around 11 I think. Julie and Devin were still sleeping when I got back. I ended up sleeping close to 4pm. Its almost 6 now. I'm not tired anymore, just bored. I'm supposed to hang out with Kyle tomorrow. I hope I do and we actually find something to do. I'm going to watch a movie with my mom soon. My dads in California right now so its just me and my mammaaa. Shes the best. I had a good weekend..
ta ta

c0lddd

Today, I went to school. Really tired from last night, then I came home. Took a nap. Hung out and did nothing. Julie and Devin came over for a little bit. That's about it. I'm a little tired, I don't understand how, but I am. I really hope this weekend has a good turnout.


kyleboykid: well well
kyleboykid: look who's all clean
Put it onnn: actually...
Put it onnn: i didnt shwoer
Put it onnn: i changed my mind
kyleboykid: then shut the fuck up

since

I have been so nice lately, and happy. I figured I would make this entry to show to everyone that not everything about me has changed. Even though no one is reading this. I think I'm just going to make a list of all the things that have been pissing me off.

• when people act like they are better than you. That one was obvious, who doesn't. But forreal. I hate that.
• when people wear leggings as pants. They're not pants. Your suppose to wear a dress or a skirt. That doesn't mean a long shirt that barely covers your ass. They're not pants.
  
• the majority of people at my school. I hate east haven.
• taking naps and sleeping really late and waking up at 1:30AM.
  
• People that try and walk all over me.
• when people change, for the worse.
• losing contact with friends/family/the amount of family that actually showed on my birthday.
  
• anyone that's never given me a chance.
  
• Laura, my history teacher.
• Mark, my math teacher, for always being in such a bad mood and taking it out on everyone else.
• Sarah Palin
• "the grease pit"
• not knowing what I want to know and dealing with it.
• People that talk shit about their friends.
• people that take my off their friends list, wow. That's not going to make me feel bad.
• When someone is always sarcastic. It's annoying. I can't tell when people are serious or not.
  

whatever. I'll probably think of 100 other things and update this, but for now. That's it. I feel better just getting this out of my head. I'm actually not even in a bad mood right now. I've been awake since 1 and I have to start getting ready for school. I'm hungry. This weekend is going to be sweeeeet

super trooper

Laura, you are one of the most horrible people I know. I dislike everything that you do. You should not have the right to call yourself a teacher. I know that karma will get back at you.. when you retire, and have no friends, it will get really lonely and you'll wish you weren't such a horrible person. School has been really good the past week actually. Maybe because I knew I was going to hang out with Jared on Friday, but I still had some really good days, besides Laura ruining everything of course. I made my schedule for next semester, and later on, I talked to Joe, my English teacher, about Laura. All of the other teachers know and understand exactly how she is, and can't do anything about it. They can't really replace her, no one wants to teach at adult ed. The school probably gets like, no funding either, whatever is left from east haven high. Anyway, Joe worked with me around Laura and I will have Jean, Joe, Mark, and Jean again, next semester. I'm really happy about that. I just need a break from Laura. I know I'll have to take her again eventually, a lot too. I have like no credits. Things will get easier. Anyway. My sister Vicki came to pick me up to take me to Uconn to see Jared yesterday, Friday. I was so happy and grateful, she offered to do this for no reason. And Uconn is pretty far. I was really happy. We never really talk at all. Were not that close. But the ride up we had time to talk about a few subjects. It was nice though, I guess. Because shes so much older, its hard to think of her as my sister. Even though she is. Half at least. I told her how I stay up there every 2 weeks for the weekend, and my mom knows but our dad doesn't, and she asked me if I wanted to sleep over. She said she would pick me up today. Isn't that sweet? Of course I accepted that offer. I had fun last night. Me and Jared hung out for a bit in his room then we went to Pat's room with Ed and some of their friends that I don't know and got shitfaced. I haven't felt that way, in a very long time. Last night is such a blurr in my head right now. I had tons of fun though. Totally worth 10 trips to the bathroom gettin real friendly with a bathroom stall. Everyone was so violent last night. I had fun though. This morning we woke up around 11 maybe. But I had almost no sleep that night. We went to get breakfast with pat and ed and some others. Then layed in the sun. Then me and Jared hung out, ate again, and I got picked up. I did have a good weekend though. It's only Saturday night. I had some plans tonight, but everything fell through. Not a big deal though. My sister took the train home from college, so shes here. That's nice I guess. We just watched 2 new degrassi episodes and one new south of nowhere. It was alright. Then we watched stupid stuff on the Internet. Now I'm here. Kind of tired. I'm debating on weather I should take a shower now or in the morning. I already took one this morning. My sister Stephanie is getting married tomorrow............................................ no comment

kandy korn

Complete different outlook on life. Things are starting to change for myself. I'm finally starting to realize that I am the only kid left in this house. And that none of my siblings are around. It's way too quiet, and I'm definitely going to need to get used to this. I'm beginning to get more and more used to my teachers. I like Joe a lot, I like talking to him. He's the only person in that school that does actually care about every individual student, equally. He will take the time to explain things, and he never gets frustrated. The amount of respect he gets without ever yelling or getting mad is so insightful. I like having conversations about the government with him, before he makes a point on something, he makes sure he understands both points of view and both qualms for any idea. Joe is also an anarchist. Yesterday I hung out with Jackie after I took a nap when I got home from school. We drove around for a bit, went to North Branford, Lenny's house, Mikes house, Kyle's house, then back to Mikes. We watched most of the Shawshank Redemption, we left towards the end because it was late and everyone was talking so I couldn't even hear it. I thought it was really good for the majority that I watched. Being locked up would make me go insane, definitely. I'm going to make sure I never put myself in a position that would lead me there. The day before that, I hung out with Kyle and Brandon downtown. It was Sunday. I waited downtown for a few hours because Kyle didn't get out of work til' 5. I got there around 3, knowing I had to wait, and just sat around and waited by myself. I like being downtown though. I get to relax and think about a lot of things. I guess I can think whenever I want to, and I do. It's just nice. We didn't do anything when we all met up. We went to Moe's and then Gordon gave us a ride back to Kyle's house. My dad picked me up later on. Earlier that day, my family was suppose to come over for family day, and celebrate my birthday. It doesn't even feel like anything anymore. This Italian tradition from a loving family is now almost completely dead. My sister came, and my uncle came. Yeah I'm upset about this. Not because it was my birthday, but because no one ever comes anymore. Everyone is busy now, with better things to do. I'm still there.

sony erection

oh brother

what a night

im old

Not really. I am 17 now, though. Today I did something I've never done before. I slept through my alarm. That's not good. My mom never wakes me up for school, because I always do it on my own. But today for some reason, she came in my room to wake me up around 6:40. I set my alarm for 5:30 this time, just so I can set it over and over until I finally wake up at 6:30. I was tired out of my mind. I got home around 11, my dad picked me up at Dan's house. I got out of school at 10:45 yesterday, because we had a half day. I'm still so tired right now. Anyway, after school yesterday, I got home and started talking to people and trying to make some plans. Stefan and I ended up going to run errands and then pick up Ryan and then we went to the show. I met up with Kyle and Brandon when I got there, and was with them mostly after that. I didn't really know any of the bands that were there, I just went because I had no clue what I was going to do yesterday. We went to Mamouns and we ate felafel's. It was delicious as usual. When we were walking back towards the show, we saw a bunch of cops giving people tickets, and we didn't know why. A cop stops Brandon on his bike, and tells him to stand against the wall near this restaurant. He ends up giving him a $75 ticket for riding his bike on the side walk, and wouldn't even give him a warning. It was pretty lame. Brandon went home and me and Kyle walked around for a little. We walked to the green and sat and waited, for something to come up. I started screaming for some reason, and didn't stop for a while, I don't know why this happened. We ended up walking to Moe's to visit Steve at work. It was only about 8 and it started raining. We got there and got free nachos because Steve is awesome and his manager doesn't care. We were eating, and I don't know how this started but Kyle said something along the lines of, "what if I threw this salsa at you". It was a cup of salsa. It's a Mexican restaurant. I told him there was no way, I told him he wouldn't do it. Maybe I even DARED him too. I really didn't think he was going to. I got salsa all over my shirt and pants. Dan went to the package store then to fair haven to get bud. Me and Kyle helped clean at Moe's after they closed down so that Steve could get out faster. I wrote down my name and number for the Manager so maybe I could get a job. Dan picked us all up, and we went back to his house, and Brandon came back. We all chilled on his front porch and then went in his garage and smoked a blunt. Steve had beer, but I didn't even have one, not even for my birthday. I was too high. I haven't been that way in so long, I didn't wanna do anyyyything. Needless to say, it was awful when my dad came to pick me up. There was no way I was going to hide the fact that I was baked as fuck. So I came up with a new plan. I just started trying to make conversation about anything that I could, and talk to him. We talked the whole way home. I came home, went to the computer, went upstairs, showered, talked to Jared. And went to sleep <3

its my birthday

The sun is out, it's a beautiful day. And I have no plans as of right now. I'm kinda tired, I am considering taking a nap. I don't know yet. This weekend I went to Uconn to see Jared and it was fun. Every time I go up its always raining, I saw Will again on the bus, the Chinese guy. Me and Jared watched the movie "wanted" it was really good. So un realistic, but I liked it. When I went home the bus ride back was fine. There was a car accident though, a car was flipped on its side and people were trying to flag down the bus, but the driver wouldn't stop. All I saw was 3 people pulling a person out of the car, it was nuts. I got stuck downtown for a few hours once I got back, because my phone died, the buses stopped running, AND my parents didn't answer when I got on a payphone. It was pretty bad. Some guy kept giving me quarters for a payphone. I don't know why. School went by fast, I had a half day today. Our days are already half days, so it was a quarter day I guess. We got out at 10:45. I had a test today in history and I'm pretty sure I did alright. My mom is paying Stefan $50 to set up fish stuff for her tank, and he just got here so hes doing that right now. I have no idea. I really need to figure something out. Last night Steff and her boyfriend came to pick me up, we smoked a blunt and got drunk, I had fun. Steff is an awesome girl. She's one that I know will never talk about me. Anyway, I'm not seeing Jared this weekend =/. I don't know if I'll see him the weekend after either. All I know is, my dad is going away the 16Th to the 20Th and Jared will be here that weekend. But its only the first! that is so far from noww. I can do it : )