friday to tuesday

On friday, the school day was going by so slowly. This sucked because I had already came in to school an hour late and I already wanted to leave early. So, I just walk away and get down the street and start walking to the bus stop, I see that the bus is coming so I started to run for it. While I was running Chris and Julie called me because they saw me walking away from foote building and they saw Jeff Alpert walking towards me. I was too quick thoughhhh the second they said that I was just getting on the bus and was gone. It was pretty epic. So after that, I get downtown and Kyle and Dan pick me up near Chanel 1. We go to Russ's house because he owed Dan some money.. It was pretty annoying. Then we go to Dan's house so he can get bags for Kyle and I. We roll it at Dans house, and his parents come home. So we put everything away and we're about to leave, and his mom comes in the kitchen, where we were, and starts walking around and talking and taking the dogs out and doing whatever, then Dan realizes that all his bags are still on the kitchen table, so he grabs it, and she doesn't see. It was very very lucky. I have no idea how she didn't know. Haha, seriously. It was great though, we went back to Kyles moms house, and it was cool because we havn't hung out there in so long. We went in his backyard and Tara came and we smoked then Bruder and Babyluth and Brandon came and it was just like normal. We all decided that we were going to get drunk that night, so, we went to the trolley tracks. We had a 30 rack and some captain. Lets just say, I can't believe I didn't puke. I was really wasted. Tara bought another bag off Dan and we save it for when we get back to my house. I still had no idea what was going on. I had a lot of fun though. On saturday I did some chores and got some money. John came over to my house and we chilled here for a little then Andy came here and sold me a bag and we went back to his house. I hung out there and watched tv and movies all dayyy. I had fun though. Sunday was gay I hung out with Chris a little then Julie and Dan a little and went to Toms and saw Jacci and Donny and Rancid and Jackie Canino. We played supersmash bros for a while. I didn't really have fun all sunday though. Yesterday was pretty neat. School went by fast, besides stupid ugly loser bitchface Stacey pissing me off. All she does is start with me and make unnessassary comments to me. I hate her. My english teacher was being retarted too. She's not normally like that at all. I guess she was in a bad mood, but all I did was ask her a question and she started fucking cussing and getting realllllyyy pissed. Whateverr. School still went by fast, and I went to Kyles house after with Julie and Dan was there. We went to Romeo and Ceasar's and I bought a chicken cutlet sandwhich and it was so delicious. I wish I still had it. It was soo good! My dad picked me up at Kyles around 5. I went home and did nothing, than JACKIE calls me and wants to hang out with me for some reason, it caught me really off gaurd, I was really surprised, but of course, I hung out with her and Tgrills. They needed bud so I directed them to Dan's house and we got a couple bags and smoked a L. Later we went back to my house and ate and they left a while later. We played like 3 rounds of Jenga, and it was fun as hell. I really wanna go to this show friday in milford to see crowns of kings and on three. I hope I can go. I stayed home today cuz we have heritage day today and theres no way im going to that.

playlist

4 hour naps suck

And so did today. I woke up tired as hell and I had to go in with my dad and I really wanted a flatbread sandwhich at dunkin donuts, so after a lot of convincing he said I could go to the one in stop and shop with my uncle. I asked a lady if they had what I wanted there, and she said yes. Who would have thought she would lie to me? I didn't. So I ended up getting a stupid plain bagel with cream cheese, which they always put way too much on. I at least wanted a milky way hot chocolate since my whole morning was now ruined because I didn't get what I wanted to eat. They messed that up too, they gave me a regular hot chocolate filled up half way with no whipped cream. Not only this.. they messed up my uncles money so bad, they only gave us 7 dollars back for the 3 things we got and he gave them a 20. And they didn't give us a receipt. What fucking idiots.. The manager had to come down and apologize and give us money out of his pocket and shit. like I care, all I wanted was a flatbread sandwhich. Today I had a free period so I was going to harass my english teacher, I saw her in the hallway so I was creepin behind her and I scared her realllyy bad and she screamed, it was kinda funny. Then stacey comes to her door and slams it in my face. I hate that teacher so much. Since the beginning of the year when she started teaching here, she has been the biggest cunt to me ever. Seriously, it makes me feel bad. I never did anything to her and shes so mean to me. I tried venting to Caroline about it but she was being a bitch too. And shes a teacher so of course she didn't side with me even if I am right. And that made me feel worse. Then I asked Caroline when prom money was due, this is how the conversation went.
her- "you can't go"
me-"what.. why not"
her-"your failing everything and your on academic probation and you havn't stayed after once all year"
I'm so mad. Most of my friends at this school are seniors and they're all leaving and so am I. It's my last year at Sound and I can't even go to fucking prom. This is bullshit. I was so excited about going.. How can they do that to someone. I went to the bathroom and I realized my bra broke. The strap completely broke off. Every day I feel more and more lonely with no one to talk to. I hate being single. I mean, I can talk to my friends whenever I want I guess.. but it's not the same.I really want someone to cheer me up.=/

have no fear

Today was not really like I had expected it to be, but it didn't end up being that bad. I woke up around 11, much earlier than I had expected to. And I got ready for the day and couldn't make any plans for a while. I ended up walking to Delmonico's with my mom and got a sub and when I got back, I walked to memorial field and met up with Rancid Boy and Mick. We went to stop and shop and my frisbee was there where I left it the day before! It was so awesome. We went to the indian bowl and did nothing and Rancid was being really cranky and it put me in an awful mood. Kate came and picked up me and Mick and took me home. I was so depressed because once it was around 8, I had still not really done anything all day. Kyle called me and told me that he was at the airport with Dan. So I told them to come over and they came over for a little bit and then we went out and met up with Dwayne because someone needed to jump his car but it didn't work so we went back to Dan's house for a couple hours and I had fun. We watched random parts of some really wierd movies and I got to play with his puppy and he was sooo cute. I love Labs. Dan took me home around 1a.m and we went to Jesse's house cuz I was meeting up with Tara but then she couldn't chill anymore so he took me home. Earlier today when my mom and I were at Delmonico's, I saw Hollis, my old librarians daughter. It's not wierd that I know her because her mom and my mom are close friends, and Hollis used to give me swim lessons a few years ago so I could get ready for the team. Anyway, I saw her and talked for a little and said hey and stuff and she told me how her job at F.Y.E in Hamden is hiring, AWESOME. So she was there with her boss that said he would probably hire me and stuff so I filled out an online application, it took forever, but its alright. Only thing though, it said that they would drug test me. SHIT. I need to stop smoking so if they do try and hire me, I pass the test. Hopefullllly they do, and hopefully I pass it. I'm going to prom at Sound this yearrr, It's gonna be really fun. I'm really happy that I'm going. I'm going with Andrew. It's kind of exciting. Anyway, I'm tired as hell.

what a sunny day

And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.

I'm feeling so much better. I have no idea what I'm doing today but I have a feeling i'll be happy with whatever decision I make. It's so nice out, it has to be at least 70 degrees. I'm so happy that winter is over. I am seriously ready for this nice weather. Yesterday I hung out with Julie, Dan, and Ryan. I had a lot of fun even though we were just driving around most of the time. We played with my frisbee and hung out at stop and shop. And we picked up a robot that they found in the middle of the street, it was pretty badass. Later that night I hung out with Bill for a little. I should go take a shower and get ready for today.. Yeah

you can eat a dick

I've been so down lately
you've been so low lately
nothing seems to work out for you and me...

So, let me just re-cap on the past 10 days. Probably, one of, the most depressing days of my life, ever. Today, Jared broke up with me in a text message. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PEOPLE DOING THAT TO ME. Seriously, man the fuck up WHY does it happen to me so much. He ignored me the past 9 days and wouldn't return my calls, my ims, my texts, my messages, or anything. Last Sunday, he was suppose to come over my house. He texted me saying that he was going to come after he took a nap. I was really exciting because I hadn't seen him in a few days, so I got ready and took a shower and picked out a nice outfit to wear and a couple hours go by, so I call him to see if he woke up yet, and no answer. A few more hours go by, and I'm starting to get kind of upset. I WAITED FOR HIM FOR 8 HOURS. I didn't even make plans with anyone else because I knew, that there would be some sort of really good excuse as to why he BLEW ME OFF and didn't answer the phone when I called him 100 times. Wait, I think i annoyed him so bad that he actually turned his phone off. So, I spent that whole day crying my eyes out because life isn't fair and something like that actually happened to me. And someone would actually do that to me. So a day goes by of feeling miserable, and another.....And today! WOW! I got a text from Jared saying we should be just friendsssssssssss AWWWWWWWWW. Isn't that nice. Kill yourself, buddy.

yesterday

I hung out with Julie and Dan and we went to lighthouse for a little bit and it was alright. Kinda windy though. Dan gave me two OC 10's for free. And later that day they dropped me off at Mikes house and Jen and Andy were there. We went out for a ride to the ghetto to get some bud and then we got some beer. I was definitely starting the night off right.. Nothing really happened last night though. I had fun and stuff.. But I don't really know what to say. Tom sold us another bag really late last night around 2 in the morning I think and it was really skimp and a horrible bag. It was retarted. And Mike was pissed. It was lame. And today I was spending hours of taking a shower and getting ready and picking out stuff to wear and to look nice for no reason because no one even wants to hang out and I'm getting blown off. This is a very big deal. I'm pissed. This vacation is starting off horribly.

Spring Break

is it really that fucking hard to call and say goodnight? is it really that hard to just answer your phone. What did I do to deserve this. I feel like your not even interested in me. You should be here right now but instead your either sleeping or ignoring me and either way im fucking pissed because your blowing me off. I can't believe this. FUCK YOU.

soo sick

I've been pretty sick the past few days, its been getting really annoying. I noticed it friday night and now I just feel miserable. Tylenol isn't helping and everything hurts and I want a back rub. Hahaha. But anyway, on friday I hung out with Satchel, Jack, Ron, Russ, Brandon and Kyle downtown at this sick new spot that they found. Well anyway, we hung out there after school for a bit =). After everyone left it was just me Brandon and Kyle and we waited downtown for Bruder to pick us up with babyluth and we went back to my house and we all hung out for a while. We ended up fighting each other with markers and my room has a lot of new art on the walls. Towards the end of the night Dan Smelling (hahaha smelling) came to pick up Kyle and Brandon and me and Bruder and Babyluth went to pick up Tara in west haven and we smoked a couple blunts with her and we went to the park and played on the swings and the playground and it was fun. Yesterday I hung out with Chris sinse he's home and we watched this rediculous movie, I almost fell asleep and then we went to a party at the trolley tracks that was ALRIGHT. I saw some old friends and it was nice I guess, it's just not quite warm enough to be out there yet. For me at least. And I always seem to forget how long the walk is down there. Today I hung out with Jared and we didn't really do anything. I'm sick, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. I DON'T WANNA BE SICK ANYMORE.

april fools

Last night I hung out with Hayleigh and Julie and my brother for a little bit. I wasn't really happy that I didn't get to spend that much time with my brother, but I'll get back to that later. Me Hayleigh and Julie hung out with Matt and went to Nicks house and hung out with Rancid boy and drank beers and played super smash bro's. I had fun even though we weren't there for that long. I didn't go to school yesterday so I could spend time with my brother, but he was busy seeing his friends and talking with family. I'm not really into group discussions when he's home, even if that's selfish of me. I was upset because he was suppose to leave today at around 3:30 in the morning, and I didn't get to talk to him that much. But this morning, around 3:30, I woke up by myself for some reason. I couldn't sleep. There was a tapping outside and it was really fucking annoying. I can't sleep with clocks or noises in the room at all. I was really tired, so I went downstairs to sleep in the TV room, but the filter in the fish tank was so loud, I couldn't sleep there either. So I moved to the couch near the front door. I could'nt fall asleep there. It was just too loud. So I went to my sisters room and asked if I could sleep with her, she wasn't in the best mood seeing as I just woke her up, but who cares, I was tired. She wouldn't let me sleep with her either. And by this time, I realized that my brother hadn't left for his plane for some reason, I was happy about that, but still tired. I ended falling asleep around 5 and my brother woke me up at 10:30 this morning because the internet was down, and he told me how he got his days mixed up and his plane was actually leaving the next day at 3:30 a.m. Coooool. I was already very awake and went to go try and fix the computer. I couldn't do it, so we ended up talking for like an hour in the computer room. We talked about a lot of stuff, I was happy about it because thats all I wanted to do for his visit, spend alone time. And I finally got it. So then we both got ready for the day and I got to hang out with him all day just us two. We went downtown and went to Louie's, where the hamburger was invented, for real. In new haven. It was sooo good and he told me how he used to go there when he was a kid. Then we went to the thrift store on crown street and looked at stuff and left, then we went to Chanel one, the skate shop. It's such a small world, because I know the owner and his wife and it turns out my mom does too, because she works with the owners wife at nathan hale, and ALSO my brother knows The owner Lou, he's a really nice guy. My brother knew him from about 15 years ago when he used to have a graffiti shop downtown as well, and Lou told my brother he inspired him to open Chanel one and a lot of other stuff. My brother helps a lot of people though so it wasn't really surprising. After we went there, we went to my school! Even though I didn't go for the past two days, I wanted to show him my school so we went there and I showed him the foote building and we went in the fish lab and I showed him my fish and he met some more of my friends and some of my teachers and it was really cool. I was really glad he came. When we left, we went to dixwell ave in the hoooodddd and we went to his friends studio, that used to hang out with Lou from chanel one a lot. He showed me some of his raps and it was pretty sick. I had fun. After we left there, we already starting feeling a little hungry again after the burgers, so we went to get the best pizza in New Haven. Modern. It was delicious of course. After that we went to pick up my dad at work and we went home and thats basically what ended my day. I'm pretty tired but I can't sleep now its only 8:37 I wanna talk to Jared but he wont answer his phone. It's going to suck waking up early tomorrow. Shit.