natty ice

holy shit im fuckin cocked, im at julies house with devin and julie. we were at danas house with randy and we did limbo and danced and i want to take you out on a dinner movie

school, thursday

Whhhhaattt a night. Today I woke up, Julie had slept over last night. Shell and Alyssa came over in the morning for a little bit, than Julie left with them. I got ready to go out and Stefan picked me up early, around 4. We picked up Jill and went to the show. I got to see a lot of my friends and all the bands were really good besides soul control, fuck them. I don't really have much else to say. Yesterday I hung out with Julie and Devin and Jackie for a little. Julie slept over. I start school Thursday! It's going to be crazy waking up that early.. Goodnight!

4 more days

Left of freedom. 4 more days, left of sleeping in. Parties. Warm weather is gonna start getting cold. Only thing good about this; FALL, my birthday. I can't wait for my birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do. And I need to think soon. Yesterday, I woke up around 11, because a car alarm went off. It didn't stop for over a half hour. It was fucking ridiculous. I was pretty upset about that. I tried staying awake after it went out, but that wasn't happening. I went back to sleep right after, and didn't wake up til' 4!! I got ready for the day a little, bleached my hair because it was needed, took a shower. My sister was having a huge movie party with all her lame friends, and my sister Vicky went all out with red carpets, balloons, candy stands, everything. It was pretty insane. There was no way I was going to stay at the house with all of those people there. She had like 20 of her friends there. A lot of them I have never even seen in my whole life. The party was for the movie that she was in. I always forget the name of it. It was called in bloom but they changed it, it doesn't even play in the US I don't think. It's not like shes important or anything, just a random person in the backround. No lines. Stefan came over shortly after the party began. After a little bit, we went to pick up Julie. We were going to go to a party at this kids house but apparently they had beef with Stefan. And you know how he is, always pickin' fights with people! HAhahahah. Not at all though. We ended up going to Meriden, to Dana's house. I had such a fun night. All I wanted to do was get drunk because I haven't in so long. I had a lot of fun. Marisa and Kirsten and some other people I knew were there. I just had a good time. We had to leave kinda early because Stefan had to get home, but it was alright. I couldn't sleep at all when I got home. I tried laying down at least 3 times, tired each time, but no sleep. I ended up going for a bikeride at 4:30A.M. I went to John's house to smoke. When I got home I slept fine. Today I wanna hang out with Jackie or Kyle. I don't wanna be stuck here all day. Dana called me a little while ago. He said hes going to Phillidelphia for a few days.

no sleep for the wicked

Another sleepless night.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't sleep for anyything.
I need to take a shower and just go to bed. I have such a blank feeling right now, I don't even feel alive. It's not even that late. Well, none of my friends are awake right now. It's almost 4. I just feel like I haven't been doing anything with myself the past few days.
Like, I have been going out and hangin out with friends a tiny bit, but
I want to go out and do something fun.
I start school in 10 days. I need to make more out of this summer.
I need a new job.

walk dont run

Today. My mom woke me up at 12 and told me to get ready to go to her friends house up the street, because my parents were going there. She told me to just walk there in a little bit since I wasn't going to wake up. I woke up around 2, got ready, and walked with my sister up the street. My uncle Pat was there, but besides that I didn't know any of those people that well. Me and Pat played boccie ball against two of my dads friends. We played an 11 game, and we won. I love playing so much. When I got home, I talked to Hayleigh and she came over. We talked about some stuff, than we went for a walk to WaWa's to get cigarettes. We waited for a bit than my sister showed up with her friend Mikey. He bought them for me. Than we walked to Nathan Hale for some reason. Talked about how much we missed middle school. And hung out in the playground. Then we went to my house, went on the computer. Jackie came over with Jill. We hung out and talked here for a little bit, than we went to meet Hector at Wendy's. Then we went to WaWa's. Then we went to the seawall and smoked a L. It was a good day. I'm starting to enjoy the past few nights being almost like fall. It's not hot at night anymore. I don't mind it. Jackie took me and Hayleigh back to my house and I didn't feel good all of the sudden. I ate a little bit and than took a nap for maybe an hour or 2 at the most. I woke up and we watched 2 degrassi espisodes. I watched 3 of them yesterday. And they were all new ones that I haven't seen yet. I need to keep up more. They were so good though, I love that show. After we did this, Hayleigh hung out with my sister I think, because I went out to hang out with Chris for a few. I just got home a few minutes ago. It's almost 4:30 but I've been going to sleep so late, I'm so used to it. I need to get out of it though. I start school the 28th. I'm not tired at all right now. I'm almost positive that Hayleigh's sleeping. I wish we could stay up and talk more.

trapped

Today I woke up in my sisters bed. I almost forgot I slept there because there was a mosquitoes in my room. She woke me up really early so she can go protest something. I don't even know. I went back to sleep, and woke up again at 11:55. My tattoo appointment was at 1:30 and my moms was at 1, so I freaked out a little bit because there was no way I could get ready and take a bus than walk from downtown to the middle of state street in time. My dad ended up taking us. Everything went fine. It hurt really bad, I don't think I'll be getting anymore any time soon. After that, my dad took me to Jill's house for her graduation party. Julie, Devin, Stefan, Chris, Pat, Madison, Jenna and a few others were there. I can't think right now. We hung out around her house then went to the store to get a ball so we could play kickball. Her dog ended up popping one of them, so Devin took Jill's dirt bike and rode it down rt. 80 to try and find another ball! That must have been such a funny sight. He couldn't get one. Me, Stefan, Madison and Jill ended up going to walmart to get a soccer ball that we used instead. We went to the Pitt and played kickball for a little bit. It would have been better if there was more people though. After people started leaving me and Chris hung out with Jill for a little. We went to Burger King. Then Chris came over, and we went to Julie's for a few minutes. When I got home, I tried making plans but it didn't really work. I didn't party at all this weekend. LAME. And I've been going to bed so late every night. This can't be good. I start school in 11 days. I just watched 3 new Degrassi episodes that I haven't seen in a while. I still love watching that show even though it changed so much. It never gets old to me! I can't wait to take a shower and curl into bed so I can get some rest, for whatever awaits me tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow. It doesn't matter.

my ink

will be done tomorrow!

its 6:39

I just had to break into my house through a window. It was the first time I ever entered my house in that way, it was kind of weird. The back door was locked when I got home, I tried calling my sister like 10 times so she could let me in but she didn't answer. Right now I'm eating a bowl of cereal. I don't hear any birds outside which is odd. I used to hate coming home this early because the birds would keep me up when I tried to sleep. Today I hung out with Julie and Devin for a little. Than Dan picked me up with Kyle, Bruder and Brandon. We smoked and than went to the mall. Then went back to Dan's and did nothing. Then, I went home. Because they wanted to go fishing.

in this moment

Today I woke up around 3, yeah. I was pretty surprised about that. Yesterday I got ready to go out and meet my mom downtown. I took the bus and we went out to lunch at Temple Grill, near Subway on Chapel street. It's a really nice place. And the people there are really friendly. Then we went to Channel one and my mom bought me 2 shirts, we talked to Lou for a while and told him that we were going to Studio Zee to get tattoo appointments, and he told us that we should get it done by his friend Sebastian "bezerc". We went to Studio zee and made the appointment, its this Saturday at 1:30. I'm getting it on my lower back. Turns out that I knew this guy sort of, because he used to work at "the edge" tattoo place on chapel street. It shut down over a year ago. AND, my brother knows him. How fucking weird is that. He used to work for my brother when he had the graffiti shop in New Haven, 10 times dope. This was over 15 years ago, but I guess him and my brother aren't really friends anymore. But I won't get into that. Later on yesterday, after I hung out with my mom I took the bus downtown to Dan's house and hung out with him and Kyle. We didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. We got some beer and smoked a blunt and played beer pong in Dan's garage for like 10 minutes. Kyle got schooled, I hope hes readin' this now too. I tried fighting him a few times as usual. Later that night, Dan took me home. I was on the computer for a bit, than Chris came to pick me up and we went to his house and talked and watched weird shows, and cartoons. This guy on Ripley's had no arms and he did all these crazy sports. It was insane, I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't end up sleeping until somewhere around 5a.m. Hence why I woke up at 3p.m. Today I did nothing, Julie and Devin came over for a bit and we hung out and talked, then Devin left and Julie slept over. Which is now. Except its 2:35 and shes sleeping. We watched the movie Vantage Point. I like action movies. It was kind of confusing, but I understood it after a bit. I start school August 28Th. Summer vacation is almost over, and I need to get my sleep back together. I've been trying to finish this entry for almost an hour, damn. I wish I had more to say. I feel like I have more to say. I think it's just the fact that I feel so complete now. I have nothing, but everything I need. I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. And I don't really want one right now. I don't want anything.

get a job

My previous entry was just a joke, in case you didn't know. Today I'm gonna get ready than go downtown and meet my mom, and go to studio zee and make a tattoo appointment. Hopefully they will have time today for it, that would be really cool. Yesterday I sat around most of the day and I walked to John's house and hung out there til 1a.m basically. We watched some really weird TV shows and some show about interventions, it was hilarious. This girl was addicted to whip its and she was so retarded and she was saying the funniest shit. She was a cutter, and had an eating disorder too. Isn't that insane? Anyway. AUGUST 8TH. I saw leftover crack, common enemy and a few other bands that I had no care for. Copyright Chaos was supposed to play but they didn't because one of them had work. There was so many kids there. Jared brought a huge bag of donuts and there was food flying everywhere outside. There was some chick fights too inside. Insane. August 10Th, CT punkfest. Hostage Calm, The Kill Boys, Eat and Run, Point of Impact, Stomped on Sight, Product of Waste, Kulture Shock, Copyright Chaos and a few others I can't even remember. I got there around 1, and I didn't leave until 11 because Hostage Calm played last and the times got pushed back a little. I had fun all day, even though I got really tired. On another note, I've decided that I'm never going to allow myself to associate with someone that used to be a crackhead. Or over the age of 20 and still unemployed. You kind of remind me of a vegetable.

LOVESTRUCK

frankie hands is the most dreamy hunksicle ive ever layed eyes on!!



he says cute things like this!

marinateyourlife: whats livejournal?

Mid August

I don't want summer to end. It's already almost the middle of august, that also means my birthday is coming up. Rhode Island was amazing just like I thought it was going to be. The first day we stayed at the beach for over 6 hours and it was so fun and I got sun burned really bad. Later that night we played pool and ping pong for a little and went out to eat at a really nice place. Within an hour of being at the hotel me and Julie stole beers from one of the rooms near ours. Everyone left their coolers outside! I got pretty silly that night, but not as much as much as Julie. We went in the hotel pool in the middle of the night and a guy came outside and told us to get out because pool hours were closed. We had a ton of fun Nonetheless. The next day I could barely walk because my sun burn was so bad. I felt kinda sick too. We went kayaking for a little bit in the morning but I was so behind everyone else because I felt so bad, so it sucked kinda. After that I stayed at the hotel while everyone else went to the beach, because there was no way I could do that again. Later on we went to misquamicut and had dinner and went to the arcade and there was a few rides there too and I had fun. I'm glad I ended up sleeping fine both nights. Well, I didn't get a lot of sleep. But I did get some sleep. I ended up buying ear plugs the first day we went, it helped. When we got back to the hotel from Misquamicut me and Julie started drinking again because we stole more from a different room. And I was retarted all night. When it was real late, we went for a walk to get soda by the main office and I stole more beer. We kept watching all these weird shows too. The day I got back from Rhode Island my sun burn was still hurting but not as bad, I went to the St. Bernadette carnivle with Charles, Chris, and Bobby. I love it so much I'm going tonight too. Even though I really wanted to go to the leftover crack show. It's cool I guesss. Plus tonight and Tomorrow are the last 2 nights before it ends. So I have to go. Sunday is punkfest, and its gonna be so much fun I can'ttt wait. Yesterday was Kyles birthday so I got ready to go out and Dan picked me up and we went to Kyles house. A few people were already there and the night was gettin started right. Then a bunch more people ended up coming. Around 9 we ended up going to North Haven movies to see Pineapple express. I would have never imagined I would actually go see that movie the 2nd day it came out. I haven't seen a movie in so long, especially at the movies! It was really long and I didn't think I would be able to sit through the whole thing, I was getting really restless. I went with Kyle, Dan, Leo, Jesse, Andy, Goby, Chris, Steve, Kyle C, Stefan. Chris ended up coming for a little bit too, but he was gay and got a refund for his ticket. I don't know. I was real fucked up durin the movie so I barely remember most of the stuff that was going on. Right now I need to take a shower so I can get ready because Chris is coming over around 3. I really wanted to see LC tonight. Who knows when they'll come back to CT again. I need to take a shower and start getting ready for the day. I'm so lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

whaaaaat

Today. Today. Today......... I didn't do anything. Yesterday started off with me waking up and doing nothing for a while than I finalized my plans with Jackie and I got ready to go out and she picked me up, I'm not really sure what time she did, I'm assuming close to 7 maybe. We went to the Supply Pond to hang out with Jaime, Tom, and Grasso. I don't know why we went there, but it was fun I guess. I hadn't been there in a while. Kyle told me that him and a bunch of other people from Sound were going to the trolley tracks, and I thought it would be cool if Jackie and my friends got to go too. Jackie had a bottle of Captain, and Jaime had a lottt of beer. I thought it would be cool to chill there because I didn't really wanna hang around inside all night. Jaime's leaving for basic training on Monday for 4 months and I wanted him to have a good last night before he left. I hope he did end up having fun. The night was procrastinated so much before we actually went. We did so much driving back and forth, going to get food, going to stores, going to Northford to get beer, so much. I'm tellin' you, we didn't even get back to the center of East Haven until 12. Grasso was meeting this kid for bud at stop and shop and that worked out perfectly. Our group of people kept getting so big, we ended up showing up with like 9 people hahaha. We did almost get lost, but not quite. Everyone was so doubtfull of me, and they wanted to just stay at one spot because I wasn't completely sure if everyone was where I thought they were. I was right. Everyone did get mad for a second, but I wanted to find where my friends from Sound were because I assumed they already had a fire ready and stuff. Which they didn't. Once we showed up there, everyone was so fucked up and confused of why I was there with 8 people they didn't know. They only stayed for less than an hour after we got there because they had been there for a while. But I had fun. I hope everyone did. Most of the people that me and Jackie got to come, really didn't want to. I had fun. But after we were there for a while, me and Jaime and Dan actually got a fire going after a while. I was happy about that. But around 3, we heard people coming!! Isn't that scary. We thought there were cops, so we got all our stuff together and we were outtt of there within 30 seconds. Everyone went up the trail single file and Jaime was doing group counts and stuff. It was some crazy teamwork. I led everyone through the trail through most of it back to the tracks too, real intense. One thing I love about partying up there is the way back. There hasn't been one time that I didn't walk back fucked up out of my mind. I had no idea what was going on, and once we got back we went to Grasso's house and I was still fuckin cocked. I laughed at absolutely everything and we were watchin Reno 911 and it was hilarious. Than my friend Edgar from Sound came in the door with Mikes friend. It was the craziest shit ever, and it was like 4A.M. I was so confused. Me and Jackie slept at Jaime's house and I got the worst sleep over. I hate sleeping out. So much. I don't even remember sleeping at all actually. This morning Jaime's alarm woke me and Jackie up and she was in a delightful mood. She dropped me off at my house and we were going to go to Misquamicut today but the second I got home, I fell asleep. And it began to thunder. And rain. Really bad. I didn't get that good of sleep. I hate how I can't sleep with an AC on, but I can't sleep with it off either. What the hell is wrong with me. Which brings me to another sort of problem. Well see, I can't sleep with sounds or noises of any sort. I'm going to Rhode Island with Julie, Jill, Stefan and Julie's dad and step mom on Monday for 3 days. And we're gonna be staying at a hotel. I'm afraid someone is going to snore. It's not funny, I won't be able to sleep. And I'll be in a bad mood the whole time. On a lighter note, I am really excited about the following events that are gonna be happening. Tomorrow I'm going to Stefan's graduation party with Julie and Devin, and than we're going from there to Julie's dads house and I'm spending the night there, and the next morning we're going to Rhode Islanddd babyyyy, I'm so excited! You don't even know! And after that, the day I get back I'm going to the St. Bernadette's carnival. It's gonna rule. I love that carnival. It's so lame but its great. You know. I'm so hungry right now there's nothing to eat, I'm lazy. Besides everything that I just explained so you, and everything else that's going to happen. I'm sad on the inside. I like this boy a real lot, and I don't know why. I want a boyfriend. But I don't want to settle for anyone. It's driving me insane in more ways than I can even explain. I catch myself thinking about it so much. It's making me feel bad all the time. My friends might be right about him, but I can't let it go. Why me.