natty ice

holy shit im fuckin cocked, im at julies house with devin and julie. we were at danas house with randy and we did limbo and danced and i want to take you out on a dinner movie

school, thursday

Whhhhaattt a night. Today I woke up, Julie had slept over last night. Shell and Alyssa came over in the morning for a little bit, than Julie left with them. I got ready to go out and Stefan picked me up early, around 4. We picked up Jill and went to the show. I got to see a lot of my friends and all the bands were really good besides soul control, fuck them. I don't really have much else to say. Yesterday I hung out with Julie and Devin and Jackie for a little. Julie slept over. I start school Thursday! It's going to be crazy waking up that early.. Goodnight!

4 more days

Left of freedom. 4 more days, left of sleeping in. Parties. Warm weather is gonna start getting cold. Only thing good about this; FALL, my birthday. I can't wait for my birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do. And I need to think soon. Yesterday, I woke up around 11, because a car alarm went off. It didn't stop for over a half hour. It was fucking ridiculous. I was pretty upset about that. I tried staying awake after it went out, but that wasn't happening. I went back to sleep right after, and didn't wake up til' 4!! I got ready for the day a little, bleached my hair because it was needed, took a shower. My sister was having a huge movie party with all her lame friends, and my sister Vicky went all out with red carpets, balloons, candy stands, everything. It was pretty insane. There was no way I was going to stay at the house with all of those people there. She had like 20 of her friends there. A lot of them I have never even seen in my whole life. The party was for the movie that she was in. I always forget the name of it. It was called in bloom but they changed it, it doesn't even play in the US I don't think. It's not like shes important or anything, just a random person in the backround. No lines. Stefan came over shortly after the party began. After a little bit, we went to pick up Julie. We were going to go to a party at this kids house but apparently they had beef with Stefan. And you know how he is, always pickin' fights with people! HAhahahah. Not at all though. We ended up going to Meriden, to Dana's house. I had such a fun night. All I wanted to do was get drunk because I haven't in so long. I had a lot of fun. Marisa and Kirsten and some other people I knew were there. I just had a good time. We had to leave kinda early because Stefan had to get home, but it was alright. I couldn't sleep at all when I got home. I tried laying down at least 3 times, tired each time, but no sleep. I ended up going for a bikeride at 4:30A.M. I went to John's house to smoke. When I got home I slept fine. Today I wanna hang out with Jackie or Kyle. I don't wanna be stuck here all day. Dana called me a little while ago. He said hes going to Phillidelphia for a few days.

no sleep for the wicked

Another sleepless night.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't sleep for anyything.
I need to take a shower and just go to bed. I have such a blank feeling right now, I don't even feel alive. It's not even that late. Well, none of my friends are awake right now. It's almost 4. I just feel like I haven't been doing anything with myself the past few days.
Like, I have been going out and hangin out with friends a tiny bit, but
I want to go out and do something fun.
I start school in 10 days. I need to make more out of this summer.
I need a new job.

walk dont run

Today. My mom woke me up at 12 and told me to get ready to go to her friends house up the street, because my parents were going there. She told me to just walk there in a little bit since I wasn't going to wake up. I woke up around 2, got ready, and walked with my sister up the street. My uncle Pat was there, but besides that I didn't know any of those people that well. Me and Pat played boccie ball against two of my dads friends. We played an 11 game, and we won. I love playing so much. When I got home, I talked to Hayleigh and she came over. We talked about some stuff, than we went for a walk to WaWa's to get cigarettes. We waited for a bit than my sister showed up with her friend Mikey. He bought them for me. Than we walked to Nathan Hale for some reason. Talked about how much we missed middle school. And hung out in the playground. Then we went to my house, went on the computer. Jackie came over with Jill. We hung out and talked here for a little bit, than we went to meet Hector at Wendy's. Then we went to WaWa's. Then we went to the seawall and smoked a L. It was a good day. I'm starting to enjoy the past few nights being almost like fall. It's not hot at night anymore. I don't mind it. Jackie took me and Hayleigh back to my house and I didn't feel good all of the sudden. I ate a little bit and than took a nap for maybe an hour or 2 at the most. I woke up and we watched 2 degrassi espisodes. I watched 3 of them yesterday. And they were all new ones that I haven't seen yet. I need to keep up more. They were so good though, I love that show. After we did this, Hayleigh hung out with my sister I think, because I went out to hang out with Chris for a few. I just got home a few minutes ago. It's almost 4:30 but I've been going to sleep so late, I'm so used to it. I need to get out of it though. I start school the 28th. I'm not tired at all right now. I'm almost positive that Hayleigh's sleeping. I wish we could stay up and talk more.

trapped

Today I woke up in my sisters bed. I almost forgot I slept there because there was a mosquitoes in my room. She woke me up really early so she can go protest something. I don't even know. I went back to sleep, and woke up again at 11:55. My tattoo appointment was at 1:30 and my moms was at 1, so I freaked out a little bit because there was no way I could get ready and take a bus than walk from downtown to the middle of state street in time. My dad ended up taking us. Everything went fine. It hurt really bad, I don't think I'll be getting anymore any time soon. After that, my dad took me to Jill's house for her graduation party. Julie, Devin, Stefan, Chris, Pat, Madison, Jenna and a few others were there. I can't think right now. We hung out around her house then went to the store to get a ball so we could play kickball. Her dog ended up popping one of them, so Devin took Jill's dirt bike and rode it down rt. 80 to try and find another ball! That must have been such a funny sight. He couldn't get one. Me, Stefan, Madison and Jill ended up going to walmart to get a soccer ball that we used instead. We went to the Pitt and played kickball for a little bit. It would have been better if there was more people though. After people started leaving me and Chris hung out with Jill for a little. We went to Burger King. Then Chris came over, and we went to Julie's for a few minutes. When I got home, I tried making plans but it didn't really work. I didn't party at all this weekend. LAME. And I've been going to bed so late every night. This can't be good. I start school in 11 days. I just watched 3 new Degrassi episodes that I haven't seen in a while. I still love watching that show even though it changed so much. It never gets old to me! I can't wait to take a shower and curl into bed so I can get some rest, for whatever awaits me tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow. It doesn't matter.

my ink

will be done tomorrow!

its 6:39

I just had to break into my house through a window. It was the first time I ever entered my house in that way, it was kind of weird. The back door was locked when I got home, I tried calling my sister like 10 times so she could let me in but she didn't answer. Right now I'm eating a bowl of cereal. I don't hear any birds outside which is odd. I used to hate coming home this early because the birds would keep me up when I tried to sleep. Today I hung out with Julie and Devin for a little. Than Dan picked me up with Kyle, Bruder and Brandon. We smoked and than went to the mall. Then went back to Dan's and did nothing. Then, I went home. Because they wanted to go fishing.

in this moment

Today I woke up around 3, yeah. I was pretty surprised about that. Yesterday I got ready to go out and meet my mom downtown. I took the bus and we went out to lunch at Temple Grill, near Subway on Chapel street. It's a really nice place. And the people there are really friendly. Then we went to Channel one and my mom bought me 2 shirts, we talked to Lou for a while and told him that we were going to Studio Zee to get tattoo appointments, and he told us that we should get it done by his friend Sebastian "bezerc". We went to Studio zee and made the appointment, its this Saturday at 1:30. I'm getting it on my lower back. Turns out that I knew this guy sort of, because he used to work at "the edge" tattoo place on chapel street. It shut down over a year ago. AND, my brother knows him. How fucking weird is that. He used to work for my brother when he had the graffiti shop in New Haven, 10 times dope. This was over 15 years ago, but I guess him and my brother aren't really friends anymore. But I won't get into that. Later on yesterday, after I hung out with my mom I took the bus downtown to Dan's house and hung out with him and Kyle. We didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. We got some beer and smoked a blunt and played beer pong in Dan's garage for like 10 minutes. Kyle got schooled, I hope hes readin' this now too. I tried fighting him a few times as usual. Later that night, Dan took me home. I was on the computer for a bit, than Chris came to pick me up and we went to his house and talked and watched weird shows, and cartoons. This guy on Ripley's had no arms and he did all these crazy sports. It was insane, I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't end up sleeping until somewhere around 5a.m. Hence why I woke up at 3p.m. Today I did nothing, Julie and Devin came over for a bit and we hung out and talked, then Devin left and Julie slept over. Which is now. Except its 2:35 and shes sleeping. We watched the movie Vantage Point. I like action movies. It was kind of confusing, but I understood it after a bit. I start school August 28Th. Summer vacation is almost over, and I need to get my sleep back together. I've been trying to finish this entry for almost an hour, damn. I wish I had more to say. I feel like I have more to say. I think it's just the fact that I feel so complete now. I have nothing, but everything I need. I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. And I don't really want one right now. I don't want anything.

get a job

My previous entry was just a joke, in case you didn't know. Today I'm gonna get ready than go downtown and meet my mom, and go to studio zee and make a tattoo appointment. Hopefully they will have time today for it, that would be really cool. Yesterday I sat around most of the day and I walked to John's house and hung out there til 1a.m basically. We watched some really weird TV shows and some show about interventions, it was hilarious. This girl was addicted to whip its and she was so retarded and she was saying the funniest shit. She was a cutter, and had an eating disorder too. Isn't that insane? Anyway. AUGUST 8TH. I saw leftover crack, common enemy and a few other bands that I had no care for. Copyright Chaos was supposed to play but they didn't because one of them had work. There was so many kids there. Jared brought a huge bag of donuts and there was food flying everywhere outside. There was some chick fights too inside. Insane. August 10Th, CT punkfest. Hostage Calm, The Kill Boys, Eat and Run, Point of Impact, Stomped on Sight, Product of Waste, Kulture Shock, Copyright Chaos and a few others I can't even remember. I got there around 1, and I didn't leave until 11 because Hostage Calm played last and the times got pushed back a little. I had fun all day, even though I got really tired. On another note, I've decided that I'm never going to allow myself to associate with someone that used to be a crackhead. Or over the age of 20 and still unemployed. You kind of remind me of a vegetable.